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Did my husband cross the line or am I over-reacting??

He has been chatting back and forth with this very attracitve woman online. They went to school together a while back but didn't really know each other. They have been flirting back and forth and last night he gave her his cell number and said they should hang out sometime. I told him to leave today. He is staying with family. I am so lost and don't know what to do. I feel what he did was innapropriate and wrong and is setting himself up to cheat on me. At the same time I don't know if him giving out his # is enough to end our marriage over. Technically he didn't cheat, but if I hadn't caught him then I don't know where it would have gone. We have been together nealy 8 years now and have two kids. I don't think I will ever be able to fully trust him again.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on Apr. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • I think maybe some counseling would help. He shouldn't be talking to any woman online and giving out his number.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • I think you are overreacting just a tad. I'm not saying he wasn't setting himself up for temptation. He shouldn't have done that. But he may literally have just not thought at all that this was a stupid thing to do. Talk to him about it. I don't think this is something worth ending it over.

    Answer by Adeline1210 at 9:40 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • I think what you did was probably for the best, I mean if he left without a fight and without trying to tell you that, thats not like it is... Then that should tell you something.... Also he should never give out his number to another woman and say hey call me sometime and we will hang out... That is a big no can do when you are married, now if he had you come along then that would be fine, but I think that is not what he had in mind.

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 9:43 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • I agree with adline1210 but i know how you feel i would be very upset too but its not something to end the relationship over. Talk to him and see why he felt like he needed to reach out to another woman, mayb he was just trying to be nice. Give him a chance to explain.

    Answer by MandMSMOMMY0607 at 9:45 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • I would have said that he could hang out with her, but that you would go too, that way you could better asses the situation, and maybe she would get the hint to back off, if his wife came along. Talk to your hubby, you still love him, what he did was innapropriate, but it would also be wrong to let your marriage end like that. Tell him how you feel, it will help! Good Luck!

    Answer by Liz132 at 9:51 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • You took it a bit far asking him to leave instead of telling him to stop to see if he would. If he kept the chatting up, then no, you are not wrong. What is more important, your feelings or chatting with a woman who obviously doesn't care about you? How would she would act if she was in your shoes????

    Answer by momwh at 9:53 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • I'd tell hiim to get a counsellor and if he decides he wants to stay with you to call you in for counselling too. If he does this he'll most likely do more. Once that line is crossed if you don't address this with a professional it will continue. He can stil do it if you both get counselling but he'll know you're serious. Be strong and think what would be his reaction if he found you doing this?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • I had already known the chatting was going too far and become flirty and sexual and told him to cut off ties with her. After that he did it behind my back and was very careful to delete everything he did online. That is when he gave his # so I couldn't track what he was doing

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • OP - I agree with you. Technically speaking, he was having an online romance, and that is emotional cheating.

    Answer by dragonfly7271 at 10:24 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • OP, don't second-guess yourself. Do what you need to do for yourself and your children. He was obviously only thinking of himself.

    Answer by rio_burb at 11:44 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

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