Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how do i tell my mom off (again!) && get her to stop w/ the unwanted advice?

Starting from when I was pregnant I have had to constantly deal with old wives tales and just plain old handed down ignornace, she won't shut up! My mom has serious contrl issues and all of my parenting decisions seem to be up for debate. She can't handle the fact that I won't do exactly as she says, and has gone as far as to threathen to have my DD taken away because I didn't warm her bottle up! smh i already had to get on her case and remind her that she's not gabby's mother, but she still doesn't get it!

Answer Question
 
mznunez

Asked by mznunez at 10:07 PM on Apr. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Move out of her house.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • And use a different baby sitter or daycare for your child when you work.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • I have the same challenge with my sister, and mom. I know they mean well, but have to just ignore it. Mine is with my son potty training, he is 4 and not yet trained. I have done everything possible, and he is starting to get it though. Even aske his doc. twice, and said not to worry.
    IRA871

    Answer by IRA871 at 10:11 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • If you're dicussing it with her then you're giving her some of what she wants - your attention. Don't answer her calls unless the time is right for you to relax and converse not fight. When I switched to that with my mom we've done a lot better. She's controlling we both know it and I don't have to take it. If you're with her and she gets controling and fanatical again then just up and leave with out a fight. Time to cook breakf, lunch, supper time for laundry, whatever. And tell her yourself ahead of time no advice or you'll have to leave and you don't want to leave. My mil advised with laughs and compliments and concern, my mother advised with complains and distrust and no respect. My mother knows that's why I'm closer to inlaws. Tell mom you want an adult relationship with her first but she's got to follow your rules because of her attitude-until real time to leave or she disrepect you per time, you want to see her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • Are you around her all the time or something? My parents live 100 miles away, maybe try something like that!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • Truthfully, I would try not to be totally resistant to everything she says. It just screams "rebellion" to her. Listen politely, thank her, and if it doesn't go against everything you believe in, throw her a bone once in a while and try something her way. I once thought my mother didn't know anything either because the books and magazines were all tellling me that my son would talk when he was ready. However, mom went to the dr's with me once when he was 18 mos. and within a week, I had found out my son had a severe speech delay. The sooner we caught it the better off he was. Think about it, just since my son was born, first it was put baby to sleep on his back, then his side, and now they are saying back again! There is a reason things get passed down.
    Lesli

    Answer by Lesli at 10:17 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • Just thank her for her suggestions and tell her you'd like to try it your way. She had her chance to be a mom and now it's your turn. It's that simple.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:42 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • You have a 2 month old and didn't warm the bottle???!?!??!?!?! I'm with your mother. You should stop being a whney brat and listen to her. Obviously you are more stubborn then smart.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:11 AM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • Why would you give your baby a bottle without warming it up?? Somethings you can let go in one ear and out the other...but it sounds like you might need a little advice... :0)
    lovnmy3boys

    Answer by lovnmy3boys at 6:01 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • the bottle was room temperature, why warm it up smart ass?
    mznunez

    Answer by mznunez at 10:23 PM on Jul. 13, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.