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Do you ever get past the "I miss being childless" stage??

Do you ever get past the "I wish I could do ______ like when I had no kids" stage? I've been feeling this way fo a few days now. I just miss being able to go wherever I want to go and being able to do whatever I want to do. I miss taking 2-3 hour naps in the middle of the afternoon. I miss going to the mall just to walk around, unhurried. I miss going out to eat all by myself.

I'm feeling trapped and I don't like feeling this way. I love my daughter ( 9 month old Victoria) with all of my heart, so why am I feeling this way?

 
Fallaya

Asked by Fallaya at 10:26 PM on Apr. 11, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 19 (7,539 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I've been feeling this way lately. I just had my second child a month ago. As much as I love and adore my children, I also feel completely overwhelmed. I miss going to nice dinners with my DH, going for hikes with my dog, wine bars and out with my girlfriends. I miss not being responsible for anyone else.
    I miss not being elbow deep in dirty diapers and having the constant smell of poop in my nostrils.
    I'm sure this will pass once the transition period is over, but it's kinda hard right now.
    Do you ever get a chance to have you time? Perhaps if you had a chance to get out once a month to do what you want, it would make things easier and reguvanate you a bit.
    nwdeserangel

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 12:25 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • Honey, mine is a preteen, I think that ALL THE TIME. I do miss my freedom from being single but i love being a mom too. Find some time for yourself to do just what you were saying. Get a relative or trusted friend to watch your baby for a few hours and walk around the mall, go to a park and read a book. You have to make time for yourself or you will go crazy. A relaxed mommy is a happy mommy.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:30 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • Cause baby is an older infant now and not a newborn infant. I have three kids. I'm sad right now cause my oldest is preparing to move out, college is done. Jobhunting is going on. I've been a stay at home mom and I'm content. But if you want to return or work for the first time with a baby
    you're still a good mom. It's hard work to be a mom no matter stay at home or work outside the home. Don't feel guilty for wanting adult company, feel guilty for wanting adult company and not doing any thing about it. Baby needs you happy for baby to grow happy. Maybe talk to your doctor too. Is there a play group you could join or start up? Can some one watch baby so you can take a class or volunteer? You're not alone and you're a good mom remember that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • oh i have a 4y/o son with epilepsy and a 2y/o daughter i feel that way all the time! i love them more then life itself but lets just be honest we still need our alone time! im a full time mom and i need my time to just go relax without mommy mommy mommy! so now i make my hubby watch them and i go do something even its just take a walk bc if i dont ill go insane! just know that this probably wont pass but its normal! doesnt have a thing to do with the love u have for ur little one its human nature u went so many yrs alone doin whatever u wanted and then bam someone that depends totally on you! find someone u trust go out have lunch pamper yourself ...you deserve it!
    jessicamarie22

    Answer by jessicamarie22 at 10:38 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • Don't feel bad. I get that sometimes too. Especially when all I need to do is run to the store for 1 thing, and then you need to pack up 2 kids and enough crap like you are going on vacation. But it is totally worth it. I have actually considered 1 more. I must be going crazy.
    teafan

    Answer by teafan at 11:27 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • I feel it already and i havnt even had my baby yet.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • i never felt that way, i was even craving a baby at 19, had one at 20. i love my kids and i have never really had time for myself, so i dont miss it :) i am now 23 and i am soon to have another baby (#3) and i love it. But, i suggest that you tell your SO, or mom, or whoever that you need some alone time. GL
    HelloKitty86

    Answer by HelloKitty86 at 12:03 AM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • We have all felt like that. See if there is a Mocha Moms group in your area. www.mochamoms.org
    haveahappyday

    Answer by haveahappyday at 12:25 AM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • Join the club. The grass is always greener. When I was childless, I envied my sahm friends. Now, they're back at work and Im driving my son to school, the library, the pool, the birthday parties, and he's driving me crazy. LOL!
    tiggermom803

    Answer by tiggermom803 at 12:45 AM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • It was much easier being able to do things without a 9 month on your hip but I honestly can say I never felt like that. When I had my son, I knew my life was changing and that's the decision I made. You'll eventually find a routine you're comfortable with and in a few years you'll come back in and say "how did my life ever exist without my daughter?" I have 3 boys who are very much involved in a lot of things. They keep me running all the time. I wouldn't even have a life if it weren't for my kids...lol But you do have to have some "you time". If you have family you can leave her with, drop her off and go home and take that much needed 2 hour nap. If you have a husband, let him know you need a lone time. Leave her with him and enjoy a trip to the mall. Good luck :)
    BrendaMomOf3

    Answer by BrendaMomOf3 at 12:49 AM on Apr. 12, 2009

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