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Can you guys give me some advice? HELP!

My husband and I just moved to Killeen, TX Im 18 and he is 19 we have been together for 3 years and married for 4 months. He is in the army and leaving for Iraq in less than 2 weeks. Before he leaves for Iraq he wants to get me pregnant he has been tryin for the past two months. I tell you all this to see what you think about it. Im not sure how I feel about it. It is my first pregnancy and I dont want to do it alone and I think that it might be too soon in our marriage even though we have be together for 3 years. I just want to know you ladies opinions on this. Thank you.

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Asked by a_feagins at 11:11 PM on Apr. 11, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

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Answers (6)
  • Honest opinion, take no offense please: i say you should wait til you have been married a little longer, that will make your relationship stronger (even though you have been together 3 years that was as children, you are adults now and need to grow), next, you are both new to the military i'm guessing, which means you both need to get your footing there you getting used to him coming and going, him getting used to what is expected of him (i am assuming b/c of age that you are new to the military), three you just moved do you know anyone around there? what happens when you do get pregnant and literally do have to do it alone b/c you know no one? who takes you to the hospital when you go into labor? who helps put together stuff for the baby? next, just the fact that you are asking means you have your doubts about it already, so unless you just happen to get preg, than i would wait until you know you are ready

    Answer by vabchmommy at 11:15 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • don't do it if you don't think your ready. he may think its the right time but he doesn't have to deal with all the hardships of pregnancy, plus if hes leaving soon your going to want some support from somewhere do you have family there? i'm 19 me and my husband have been together for about 2years he works but hes still here and pregnancy is a hard thing i don't think i would be a tolerable person if he wasn't around. but in the end its all up to you i wish you the best of luck whichever you choose but make sure you think about it first.

    Answer by jak89 at 11:19 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • I was pregnant while my husband was gone (Navy). I found out I was pregnant two days after he had left. I was miserable. I was alone for my whole pregnancy, labor, delivery (they flew him in hours after the delivery and he only got to stay for three days) and I was alone for the first 3 1/2 months of my son's life. I feel sad every time I look back on it because he was not there. He missed out on everything and because of it I feel like we've missed this huge milestone in our lives. I was 17/18. He was 20/21.

    Answer by littlemrsmarcel at 11:40 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • If you are writing in for advice you are not ready. Being pregnant comes with a lot of emotional baggage and you are going to want a shoulder to cry on or a shoulder to lean on or someone to just rub your feet and he is not going to be there. You dont want to regret your choice because ultimately it should be a joyful experience between husband and wife and if you are not ready completely don't do you both are young you have plenty of time. Unless he is just trying to get you knocked up in fear you may stray because he is not around. I personally would wait until he comes home so he does not miss all the 1st with his 1st child. Good Luck. Remember it is your decision to make

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Apr. 11, 2009

  • I agree with everyone else. I'm almost 18 and pregnant with my first baby and I have been with my fiance for 3 years also...and I would never change the fact that I'm pregnant for any reason but trust me it is much harder than you'd think. Especially with him going off to the military. If you have any doubts/fears/uncertainties then please tell him that you are not ready for this. It's your decision as well...tell him that when he gets back you guys can talk about starting a family. That way you will have some time to think it through and so will her and you can come to an agreement together! There are so many things that could stress you out right now as it may not be ready to handle the baby stress. And also with him leaving..that will be a lot harder. My guy IS around and I still feel alone sometimes...and all the hormones are really gonna mess with you. Just tell him to wait it out. Best of luck to you! (:

    Answer by javila at 1:35 AM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • If you have any doubts then you ARE NOT ready.

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:21 AM on Apr. 12, 2009

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