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Is this a memory coming back or probably just a nightmare?

Is it possible for the mind to suppress something very traumatic from childhood (such as rape) for several years, then have it suddenly start coming back (like during sex)? I ask because when I was younger I had a recurring dream of my stepfather's face above me and I was feeling a lot of pain, everywhere, but especially around my genitals. Everything was blurry like I'd been drugged with some of my mother's sleeping pills for her insomnia. Since the dreams began, I've had problems trusting people (especially men) and terrible insomnia. The dreams have pretty much stopped for the past couple of years, but when my husband and I were having sex earlier and it hurt for a second at one point, I was suddenly gripped with the horrible terror and could think of nothing but getting away from him. In my mind, he also looked just as my memory of my step father did in my dreams. I just started crying hysterically and couldn't move, speak


Asked by Mrs.BAT at 5:32 AM on Apr. 12, 2009 in Health

Level 38 (105,028 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • Memories come out of your subconscious when you're relaxed or in an altered state. If it's a repeat thing, chances are it's a memory. I would seriously try to do some journalling about this, especially if he was in your life and played a prominent role. I mean, if he was 'touchy feely' with you, isn't that enough to make you feel a little guarded, etc.? All that is an invasion of privacy, and affects your development in some way. The sooner you confront it, the better off you will be... especially if you're having reactions like you have had. Best of luck to you, Mama!!!!!

    Answer by averillholistix at 8:33 AM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • (continued) or think for several minutes until he calmed me down. Could this be me remembering something that happened, or is it more likely just a nightmare? Thank you for any help.

    Answer by Mrs.BAT at 5:33 AM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • Did your stepfather rape you? If so that is how your mind is dealing with it and you should get brother molested me and that is what I would do and time to time still do. If he didnt rape you it's just a bad dream and I would try to convince yourself its just that.

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 5:53 AM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • I have no idea, hence me asking if it could be a memory surfacing. I once took one of my mom's sleeping pills, so I remember how they effected me. It was the same way I felt in all those "dreams." Problem is, I don't know if it was just a dream. He was always VERY touchy feely with me. He would be in bed and I would go to wake him for work and he would pull me on top of him (straddling him) and I would try to get away but would just end up stuck there because he would hold me there and tickle me. I'm trying to figure out if it is all just a nightmare or not.

    Answer by Mrs.BAT at 5:57 AM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • sounds like he possibly could have that maybe you put the memory away because you were so young and didnt know what else to do. I would confront him now that you are older. That or see a counselor.

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 6:04 AM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • I can't confront him, since I have no idea where he is anymore. I don't keep in touch with that part of my family.

    Answer by Mrs.BAT at 6:12 AM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • You already know in your heart what happened. Chances are that he did hurt you. How could it be a dream when you're having sex with you dh? Unless he's really bad at it or you're really drunk I don't see how.

    Answer by gabenmikeysmom at 6:30 AM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • I would go talk to a counselor, hon. They will help you through this. And above all, be honest with your husband and let him know what is going on if you havent already. He will most likely be your biggest support with it all.

    Answer by duckigrrl at 8:09 AM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • Yeah he knows. He knows about my abusive past and the dreams and what happened earlier. I still don't know what to think about it, though, and it's tormenting me right now.
    Thanks everyone.

    Answer by Mrs.BAT at 8:13 AM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • It is possible for your mind to block out a highly traumatizing situation from your past and then recall pieces of it later.. Could you talk to a counselor?


    Answer by BEXi at 8:14 AM on Apr. 12, 2009