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how can i get my 13 daughter back on the right path

i really had to much faith in her. I just found out she's been selling pills at school. dont know how she got ahold of the pills. I have never had them. She's been cutting herself. and had planned on running away. Also found a letter from her boyfriend telling her he wanted to do it. Im just shocked. we have always been close and been able to talk about anything. Now this. I dont know what to do. I dont want to end up making things worse but i cant just ignore this.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:20 PM on Apr. 12, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (9)
  • Do not ignore this!! Thirteen was when I lost my virginity and I regret it so much!!! You might try taking her to a mental place..sounds really harsh, but if she's cutting, she either wants attention or she has some serious issues. Either way, she needs help. She might say she hates you for it now, but it'll probably do her some good.You can always talk to her about it first, too. Ask her why she's acting like this..if it is just for attention, she wants to talk about it.. ( I used to cut too) As for the boyfriend, I wouldn't let her talk to him or see him again..try taking her to a place for teen mothers so she can see how sex affects your life..Do all that you can and if that doens't work, than seriously get her into some counceling or institution. This is just going to get worse if you ignore it! Let me know if you need anything!
    sarapurser

    Answer by sarapurser at 1:39 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • Take her to a councelor, don't ever let her leave the house, take away her phone and the internet, don't take away TV though, it will give her a reason to not run away.Talk to her as much as possible, ask her whats she into, like drawing, painting anything then go out and buy supplies to do those activities with her. Sit down with her for breakfast and dinner. If you have to switch her to a different school, if you can come up with the money send her to private school. But seriously go to a councelor and talk to her as much as possible, don't forget to take the phone and internet away from her because she'll still communicate with people, you want to be the only source she has of friends for the time being. She'll come back from it once you spend more time with her doing the things she likes. Good luck but again counceling!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • I'd also get the boyf parents to come over and talk with you and dd with boyf too. If you work outside the home you need to see if you can get a computer camera and telecommute for meetings and stuff. This is really serious. Get her school counsellor involved immediately. It's your daughter's life that must be the focus.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • I agree with Sarapurser, thirteen is when I lost mine too; I regret it too, I was drunk when it happen too, I have no idea what the heck I was doing! Then I started cutting myself (not for attention) but because of my mother passing away & the boy that took my virginity broke up with me after 1 1/2 years... so I thought I'd be better off dead..
    My family found out I was and was extreamly mad; they didn't send me to the crazy house or anything.. but they locked me in their basement..
    Plus I ran away to be with my current boyfriend and now I'm having a baby but it's okay because we're still together and happier than ever and I'm only 16, I just want people to learn from my story. =/
    Do what you think is best for her no matter if it'll make her mad at you; she'll get over it and thank you later in life..
    Kaiithegreat

    Answer by Kaiithegreat at 5:02 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • hold her and let her cry find out whats bothering her its a much deeper issue even if she doesnt know it just let her know your always there for her no matter what it took me till i was 19 b4 i relized how numb how much hate i had inside from alot of issues i thought i didnt care about i dround it out with drugs, cutting myself, taking pills to see what they wld cut off everyone from me and lost my virginity when i was 12 with a 19 year old i did alot of things that i hide from my mom that she still doesnt know about take her to church, put her in activites thaqt she wants to do or wld be intristed in do not come at her like your accusing her dont threated her itll push her away and dont suffercate her just guide her in the right direction dont take her to a boring church with people she cant stand take her to one that has an awsome teen programs and this summer put her in a chrisian camp just hold on to her and dont let hergo
    medic_mom242

    Answer by medic_mom242 at 8:22 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • i cut myself because i was so numb physical pain was the only thing i really could feel i didnt care about noone not even myself i didnt care if i died and i really schould be dead i didnt wake up till my first daughter was 9mnths old and ii almost lost her it took something like that to break my ice, she needs love guidence dont judge her just hold her she may need an emotional shock but just let her know its all going to be alright and youll never leave her no matter the mistakes shes made thiers its never tolate to go the other direction and youll always have her side sometimes people need a change in enviroment to change
    medic_mom242

    Answer by medic_mom242 at 8:29 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • WOW! I have a 16 year old and think we can talk about anything, but then read things like this and wonder how much he isn't telling me. I would talk to her without accusing, ask her what has been going on in her life, why she is doing these things, where she got the pills. Stealing and selling pills can be felonies, let her know how serious this all is and tell her that this behavior scares you ask her what you can do for her to help her get out of this mess she is in. I think the key is going to be making sure that she knows you want to help her, call the school guidance office and ask what resources are in your area for parents of teens with these problems.

    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 9:31 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • Thanks to all for the advise. i really need. i wanted to let you all know i am a cutter myself. i just never wanted her to do it. i have always been open with her about everything. we have always been so open with each other. she knows the pain i have went through and how ive made life harder for myself with the wrong choices i have made. it really shocks me. i wanted her to be better than me. stronger than me. i dont want her to be like me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • take control. she wants you to. be a mom.
    4theLoveofLovey

    Answer by 4theLoveofLovey at 3:02 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

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