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Has SEXTING crossed your path?

My 15-year-old son sexted several people & sent very graphic pics of himself.

I told him what he'd done was criminal. I asked him how he could know these pics weren't sent to an 8-year-old girl - or a 40-year-old man, for that matter. He seemed to understand the magnitude that he'd not previously considered. I told him I expected him to respect himself more than that & not to do anything he wouldn't want his future wife, or daughter, to do, etc. He seemed to get it, but I also told him he no longer had a phone. And while I can't see handing it back to him, I also know he will drive soon - and I will WANT him to have one.

I first thought I'd cancel the service, but is being w/o his cell for 6 mos reasonable? I want him to grasp the severity of this, w/o crushing him for what he probably sees as a common practice among kids. I dont accept that, but also see this as a mistake. Just wanted some MOM feedback.

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Asked by hippimom74 at 3:56 PM on Apr. 12, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (11)
  • i honestly think that is VERY reasonable. that was some awesome parenting on your part.

    i am an old teen myself... and i gotta say. kudos to you.

    if i had ever done stuff like that and my mom found out.. she be super pissed. i can totally respect what you've done here.

    and to answer your question.. you could disable the texting service so he can have a phone when he drives.. or get him a different phone that does not have a camera on it... & do not forget.. there's also the internet too.. webcams.. digital cams.. myspace and facebook.

    speaking from a teen moms p.o.v.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • My boyfriends little sis is 15 and did this stuff. their mom took her cell phone, comp privileges, and her drivers permit. she told her that if she wanted it all back she had to start acting responsible. if she wanted to drive, and get a car, she has to get a job, and save. if she wants a cell phone, get a job to pay for it. thats how my mom was with me too. if i wanted anything special, i had to get a job, buy it myself.

    Answer by LoniRae89 at 4:17 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • Good for you! Remember you can still dial 911 with a phone that doesn't have service. If I were I would give him the phone, and tell him that he cant make any phone calls because it wont, but if he is in an accident to call 911 and it will work.

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 4:26 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • He can't drive without a drive licesen too. You dont' have to take him to get one if you worry about it, and you don't have to give him the car key even you do get him a car.

    I think he gets your words and realizes what he has done. No cell for 6 months is reasonable, but he certainly can bail the cell out earlier by thinking and acting right with some sense.

    Answer by yoshiki56 at 4:53 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • Thank you all for your responses. I love knowing other moms are a click away.

    My son is a great kid who rarely gives me trouble. On one hand, I see this as a 1-time mistake that while super serious, has been made to seem like no big deal because SO many kids are doing it. I encourage everyone to check their kids cell. When compared to other kids I know, worry for my son is low. Yet, I do random spot checks of his cell. I never 4get he is a KID.

    He's already late getting his permit, due to a D in English.. when it comes up, I'll take him to get his permit. I dont see him getting the phone before 6 mos. (Thnx 4 the 911 tip!) He did a dumb thing & it could have cost him much more dearly. As I told him, responsibility doesnt happen over-night when you turn the magic age. Mistakes teach us to consider the consequences. Something he didn't do this time, but I think next time he'll b more likely to include more consideration :)

    Answer by hippimom74 at 7:32 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • Let him know that if caught he could be charged as a sex offender and have to register for the rest of his life. It will ruin his life. He will have trouble getting into college and getting a decent job. People will assume the worst when he has to say he is a registered sex offender. He's not but too many people assume. Six months seems a bit much. Just tell him that he will have no phone until he earns your trust back and he will have to pay for his cell phone services.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:56 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • Nope. My teen doesn't have a cell phone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • I understand a driving teen needing a phone. I would trade it in on a phone without a camera and without text capability! He shouldn't be texting while driving anyway, it's dangerous.

    Answer by 4kidsandadog at 10:47 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • Kudos for your patience and tolerance. I too have a teen who's rarely given me trouble but, when he does, it''s a doozy. He's so intelligent that I counter such behavior with one-two-three punches. I would cancel his texting privileges and online privileges until he earned back my trust by acting more responsibly. I would also look into "male rites of passage" programs that emphasize self restraint, self discipline, self esteem, leadership/survival skills, financial management, setting long/short term goals, religiion and conflict resolution. I sent my oldest son through this program and I'm so proud of him now I could just bust!

    Answer by Ewadun at 1:41 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I haven't had this cross my path yet but I do random phone checks at night and if I were to ever find out any of my kids were doing this they would definately loose phone/ all technology privlages for AT LEAST 6 months.

    Answer by momof31968 at 2:26 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

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