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Is it wrong for my husband to deny me another child?

Even before we got married we always agreed on 4 kids, and now that we have one child who is 9 months old he tells me we can't have another when I want one! I don't know what to do because it is the desire of my heart to have at least two children. Do you think he will change his mind? I mean he is already talking about getting a vesectomy <- spelling is horrible. Which I know he can't without my consent anyway but what do I do??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:04 PM on Apr. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • Who said he can't have one without your consent?? It's his body. He might change his mind. Give him time. But if he truely doesn't want another one you can't support him into having more.
    sarapurser

    Answer by sarapurser at 4:08 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • when your married your legally spouse has to agree to a vesctomy now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:09 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • That's pretty gay. It's his body not his spouse's.
    sarapurser

    Answer by sarapurser at 4:10 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • A child should be wanted by both parents. And it takes a while, if ever a man forgets watching his wife go thru delivery. My husband hasn't forgotten any of mine (first one was 11 years ago) and after that, he said he'd never ask me to have another baby, that it was hard watching me go thru that.
    Did he give you a time or a reason?
    He may not feel he's cut out to be a Dad. Do you praise his skills as a father?
    He may be wanting the vasectomy because he's afraid you'll accidently get pregnant on purpose.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 4:10 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • Give him time. Your baby is only 9 months old. This is not a decision that you have to make today. I would also look at how your relationship is since you have had a baby. How have things changed? Maybe there are reasons that he does not think he would be happy with having anymore children.
    Magpie75

    Answer by Magpie75 at 4:12 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • He might come around, but you really need to talk to him about this, sit down with him and tell him why you want another child and ask him why he doesn't. Try to listen to him without getting upset and hopefully he'll do the same. Tell him to please wait on the vesctomy until your both ready to talk about the ups and downs of another child. Honestly you should hear his side of why he doesn't want another. Hopefully it works out but you really need to understand where he is coming from and he needs to understand where you are coming from. Good luck!
    VasquezFamily

    Answer by VasquezFamily at 4:14 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • Maybe he sees the pressures and responsibilities of having a baby around. The baby is only 9months woman! Wait! He will come around once the baby is older. You act like the baby is 6 or something. I don't blame your husband, wait till that baby is up and walking and out of diapers. If hes the only one working right now than you should understand.
    diamondmamma

    Answer by diamondmamma at 4:18 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • I posted. He says that we don't need to have another one because it would be too hard. Our son is well he has allllooott of energy and he is the same personality as his father "I want it this way and that is the only way I'll have it" type person. He uses the fact that right after I had our baby I had severe post partum and I said I NEVER wanted another baby. I only said it because I was soooo depressed and he says that I"ll be the same way after the second one. I guess it's the money factor too. The way I see it though your never finacially ready for kids. You can be as prepared as possible but thats about it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • This looks familiar. Didn't you already post this before? Maybe reality set in after the first one was born. Some men don't realize (before marriage) how much time, energy, money it takes to rear a child properly. It's possible his priorities have changed and knows he can't provide for a large family like he wants to. I think you should compromise or divorce and find a man who wants lots of kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • anon :19 don't you think that divorce thingy was a little 2 much?
    diamondmamma

    Answer by diamondmamma at 4:21 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

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