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How do I tell her I no longer care?

My friend has been making some really stupid decisions. She just met a guy, and people WARNED her he was a player and she said she didn't care. So within a week she was sleeping with him, unprotected. Then she finds out ONE of his other women is his neighbor and all of a sudden it's a problem. So she confronts him and goes off because he put her at risk for STD's and whatever else because they weren't using a condom. So she talks to him and all he does is apologize for not telling her, and now they're back to sleeping together again, unprotected. So honestly at this point, whatever happens to her is her own damn fault and I've told her that much. But I know that sooner or later something else is going to happen and I really just don't want to hear about it because I'm already forseeing it. She is one of my closest friends but I really want nothing to do with whatever bullsh*t she is getting herself into. con't...


Asked by Anonymous at 5:38 PM on Apr. 12, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Just say nothing and hold your views privately. If you care about her, you really can't separate the 2 issues, IMO. Be a friend. From what you've shared, SHE put her own self at risk by not making the guy use a condom, so if she did/does catch anything that would be 50% her responsibility. We can't make others see our views, live by our views, or do anything like we would [wouldn't that be easy just once in awhile if they would listen] so be there as a friend and she'll eventually see the light. If you say anything, essentially you are adding to the drama and she may drift away and get closer to him.


    Answer by Teachermom01 at 6:44 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • How do I tell her that without making her feel like I don't care about HER? I've tried to warn her but she is a grown woman and will make her own choices. I can't babysit her to make sure she doesn't do something stupid.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • lol i am going through the same thing with a friend, and i really dont know what to say to her, but when sometihng happens i guess i will just tell her she was warned

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 5:40 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • i think its one of those things where if she is a close enough friend you tell her you are worried for her health and saftey, that no matter what the outcome of this relationship you will be there for her. but you don't want to know about the relationship. when it does end, however it ends, you just listen let her get it out then say your i told you so's

    Answer by vabchmommy at 5:44 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • I would say that although you care about her, you feel she's taking risks you won't be able to get her "out" of and that you're worried. When she does come to you for help you can say that you tried to warn her and don't have time in life to fix her bad decisions despite your caring for her.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 5:48 PM on Apr. 12, 2009


    Answer by older at 5:57 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • So I'm not a true friend for not wanting to partake in her completely unecessary drama self-inflicted drama?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • There are such things as toxic friendships...this sounds a bit like one.

    Tell her that you cannot stand by her when she's making foolish decisions, that you hope that you eventually find out you're WRONG and that if she needs real help in the future you'll be there, but you cannot deal with the day to day drama anymore.

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:24 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • I respectfully disagree with the poster who says a true friend sticks by someone no matter what
    I think a true friend says LOOK I am not going to watch you hurt yourself , When you are ready to get yourself together we will talk .

    Answer by CSRodriguez at 7:16 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • it's not your place to tell her anything. She already knows. She's an adult. Let her make her own foolish choices as long as she knows the consequences.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:29 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

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