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destination weddings?

Ok, well my step-brother and his girlfriend just annouced that they where getting married on new years eve in Orlando Floridia. All of our family lives in Wyoming and they expect everyone who is invited to come and to pay for their own stay and own air fair, but in my opinion if you want a destination wedding you should pay for your guests flight and stay. I told them me and my family will not be attending their wedding even though I want to be their for my brother I just cannot afford it. I am almost offened that they even expect us to pay for this our selves especially when I could use the 3,000-5,000 dollars on a vacation I would really want to go on.

So my question is, am I being rude telling them their is no way I am attending or should people be expected to pay their own ways if a couple wants a destination wedding?

Answer Question
 
saysha100687

Asked by saysha100687 at 8:48 PM on Apr. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,017 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • THEY are being rude and unreasonable to think guests should pay for their own fare and expenses.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:54 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • i think if they want you to participate in the ceremony than they should pay. if they are inviting you to attend than you should pay, but they also shouldn't expect everyone to be able to attend that kind of a ceremony.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 8:55 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • This is exactly why we are flying home to do our wedding because we do not want this situation to arise. I totally agree with you though, they can't expect everyone to be able to afford that.
    ZaTa

    Answer by ZaTa at 8:57 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • There's no way I could fly my family anywhere for a wedding, no way would I actually... and no way would I drive my kids across the country for one either (I've been in the car with those kids for 8 hours in one day and it wasn't fun even tho they had movies playing).
    I'd give them a gift and well wishes for a beautiful wedding and a safe trip to and from.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:04 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • Maybe they are having it in Florida because they don't want alot of people to come. Why else would you possibly expect people to waste time off from work, money that is so hard to come by now going to someones wedding? That is selfish and rude, or lettin you off the hook to attend. Don't know which lol but I would send a gift my best wishes and we see you after your honeymoon.
    1countrygal

    Answer by 1countrygal at 9:18 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • We had a destination wedding for the express purpose of limiting our guest list. My husband's family all lived near us, but my family was all out of town. I thought it very unfair that my family was expected to travel across the country, stay in hotels, and have a greater expense to attend our wedding, so we chose a mutually agreeable place. Those that could make-- great. Those that couldn't, we would see them at the reception we were holding a few months later.

    We did not pay for airfaire, but we did pay for hotel stay for our guests-- which totalled 35. I also paid for my bridesmaid's dresses and the groomsmen''s tuxedos, and we paid for their food almost the entire time they were here.
    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 9:20 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • It would be my hope that anyone who was having a destinationw edding and didnt intend on paying for fare and boarding for guests wouldn't have a high expectation for a huge turn out. Say that you are sorry but you just can't afford the trip right now. A few hour drive is one thing but a flight across teh country is a whole nother story. When my husband and I got married a lot of people from his family didnt show up because our church was an hour away from their home. We didn't think much of it. Send a nice card with a nice gift and note wishing them the best and don't take it personally. They deserve to have their dream wedding even if it means only a handful of people can attend
    humaniterian87

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 9:46 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • yea that is why i was looking into one because that way i don't have to invite every person my father ever me just to mkae him happy but i would make exceptions for my sisters and/or my parents if they couldnt afford it id try my best too pay thier way but what hes doing is usually how it goes guest pay thier own way
    emtmommyamanda

    Answer by emtmommyamanda at 9:47 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • Guests are to pay for their own fare and expenses. It is up to them if they want to go or not.

    When choosing to have a destination wedding the couple should expect that they will get a lot of regrets. It is very costly to travel, stay, and purchase a gift. When my BIL was married in Jamaica we sent our respectful regrets. You should still get them a gift however.

    It is not a reasonable expectation for the bride and groom to foot the bill for their entire guest list. Those who choose to put out the money will attend and those who choose not to or can not afford to will not. There is no reason to feud, it's their wedding.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 11:06 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

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