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What would you do if you found out your so/dh was addicted to porn?

Yesterday, after a couple days of unusual behavior from my dh I came across porn on the computer. Since I don't watch and he's the only other person the computer I knew it was him. Long story short, he says he's addicted to it. He also says that it helps to relieve stress. I'm no sure how nor do I want to know. I feel hurt. Has anyone else had this happen?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Apr. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Yes. And as you it really pisses me off. I knocked the shit out of my husband. He lies to me about looking at porn and I know he lies. He is such a prick
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:04 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • i'm surprised he admitted it. most won't, if he so freely admitted to it, he may be willing to get help. my husband had the problem too, we were able to work it out ourselves b/c he refused to talk to anyone else. said guys watch porn thats what they do and wouldn't budge. so since then we have worked through things ourselves (i've spoken to someone b/c i found it hard to trust again after that, and he has come with me a few times to see the counselor but wouldn't discuss that with her). so i would suggest him getting help, you need someone to talk to as well, and try not to blame yourself, b/c that was my first thought that something was wrong with me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • I have put up with so much crap from my husband that finding out the he is ever addicted to something so stupid, I would just up and leave! I'm not going to waste my time or put myself and kids through that emotional roller coaster! Now if its something like drugs, food, spending alot of money... etc. things of that sort... then yeah I would help him still the day I died!
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 10:21 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • ive dealt with it. it was before we had kids & where only dating.. we split up over it a few times.. finally i started dating other guys, that made him straighten himself quickly! We havent had any problem with it for 3yrs. maybe he has gotten really good at hiding & controling it or maybe he finally woke up & stoped..
    there are a few great groups on CM that will help out with this just do a porn addiction wifes
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • My dh looks at porn on the internet sometimes and I just told him, "if you get a computer virus, I am NOT letting you use MY computer". Now he uses virus scan lol.

    Seriously, who cares about porn? I would rather have him do that when I am not home then be off somewhere...
    Rainbowbrite639

    Answer by Rainbowbrite639 at 10:42 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • My ex husband was a sex addict. A porn addiction is considered a sex addiction. Sex addiction is a very serious problem. I would start by having him (since he's admitting he has an addiction to take the test i have a link to here:
    http://www.sexhelp.com/sast.cfm
    If that confirms his belief (it may not be addiction but an over use or bad habit) then I would absolutely seek professional help. Genuine sex addiction is the most difficult addiction to recover from, it always escalates if not treated, & partners are advised that what the sex addict has admited to you is usually only 10% of the behaviour they are engaging in. Again, it could just be a bad habit. Trust your gut on this one. Even if he says he doesn't meet the criteria according the the quiz. Feel free to ask me any questions on here or let me know on this post & I will pm you, if you'd like.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • He's male. Whatever is on that computer cannot be any worse then what he is thinking about in his head when he masturbates or has sex. The addiction thing was probably just a way to make an accuse for it so you would not get upset.
    dhsredhead

    Answer by dhsredhead at 1:55 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • If he's truly addicted, he needs professional help, stat.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 11:01 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • rainbowbrite- get a life! This lady is concerned about her husbands porn (sex) addiction and that's all you have to say? Google sex addiction groups and therapy in your area. I also recommend the book "Hold me tight" Seven conversations for a lifetime of love by Dr. Sue Johnson.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:10 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Oh man, I had this problem with my SO. It is a very serious problem. When I was pregnant, I came home and logged on our computer, to find a membership to a website called Horny members.com or something like that. Well I did some searching and got his password and found his profile with a huge picture of his dick! I couldnt believe it, I felt that ache in your stomach you get when something really bad happens. He had left comments on random girls pages asking when they could meet up. This was a place for people to meet up for casual sex and you enter your zipcode to find locals! I was fucking pregnant, and he was doing this? That was the worst pain ever. I left his big ol dick up on the screen that whole day for anyone to see. We were living at his parents at the time. He came home and saw it and ran downstairs and held me. I was fighting him telling him to let go of me and he started crying telling me he loved me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:55 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

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