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How did you manage being alone if you got separated or divorced with a child or children?

I'm so scared to be alone, but I know it's time to end it with my H. If I didn't have a baby, I could probably occupy myself in many ways. Hanging out with friends, getting my party on, staying with friends, going out and all that, at least until I get use to it, but it seems like it is going to hit much harder since I will be cooked up at home twittling my thumbs and having a hard time occupying my mind since I have a baby to tend to. I'm not saying I regret having a baby, but I am saying I don't want to go through that. It would make me feel 10x's more lonely and sad, due to excess time I have, and little to do. I've already tried leaving a few times, and I can't! How do you do it? I just don't want to be in that position to where I'm thinking about him, us, what has happened, what he's doing etc.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:30 PM on Apr. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • im going threw something like that and my daughter comes first not men
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • Op again. I thought I'd add I've never been alone before. I've never lived alone. We have been together since I was a teen.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:33 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • anon 10:32, I know that, but I was looking for advice on how to cope with it, or make it easier.
    I'm asking because I am at the point that I am ready to leave, but I don't want my mind so fogged up with thoughts that I will end up taking him getting back with him like I've did before. I just don't want to be vulnerable or depressed.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:36 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • Well is your marriage saveable.... I mean did he/you cheat, is there verbal/physical abuse?
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 10:40 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • you have to do what you need to do hon listen to your heart if you need to leave then go
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • It's not saveable, and there is verbal and emotional abuse. He's basically told me he is using me.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • Get out. At first you will be busy making a nice little home for you and your child. Make sure you rent an apartment in a complex, so there are nice neighbors. Try to be friendly and get to know other women/mom's in your building. Summer is coming. Soon people will be having get togethers and inviting you and your child. Get a job. Meeting people at work is fun, and it gives you something to do with your time. Consider going to school to better yourself. I worked 40 hours a week and went to school 15 hours. I was too tired to think about men! I concentrated on my son, which was best for him anyway. You'll be surprised how quickly the time goes and how glad you will be that you got out and made a better life for yourself! Good luck!
    4kidsandadog

    Answer by 4kidsandadog at 10:59 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

  • it's not as hard as you may think. your thinking to much about it. i would just start making plans to get as much help from the state and get the papers moving towards getting child support. your not happy where your at so move on. just concentrate on your child and making a life for you two. that should keep you busy enough.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 11:38 PM on Apr. 12, 2009

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