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My baby is not allowed to play toys by other kids, is it a bad environment for her?

send my 15 mons baby girl to a lady's house who has 2 children of her own (3 and 4 yr old) - so 3 children in the house only. She is not licensed but is a friend of a friend and she seems to be very good to my baby (to keep her safe and feed her well).

Problem: Every time when I go to the home (during pick up, drop off, or surprise visit), the lady's kids (the 3 and 4 year olds) always take things away from my baby's hands whenever she picks up something from the house - books, magazines, remote controls, even toys. The lady's kids are very territorial about things in the house, the lady would talk to her kids gently but she doesn't enforce a rule for every one to follow. I suggested to the lady to set up an area for play but she didn't do it. My concern-is it bad for my baby to be at a place where she doesn't know what is allowed to touch, and when she picks up something it will be taken away by other kids every day?

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Asked by PeanutJordanMom at 12:32 AM on Apr. 13, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (14)
  • i'd take her and put her somewhere else. obviously she's not doing anything to help the situation

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:35 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • It's definitely not fair to your baby, and it is not teaching her things that you want her to learn, to snatch and grab a toy from another child. My opinion is get her in a licensed daycare, where the provider has a "play area" with toys for all the children... You don't want your baby to get hurt when another child who is much bigger is snatching and grabbing a toy from her. JMO. Good Luck.

    Answer by pamelajqs at 12:36 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I (personally) think that at this age, if a baby is not going to be with family or a close friend, then they need to be in a daycare that is going to focus on developmental skills and things of that nature. Consistency is your best friend during potty training, teaching to share, as well as learning numbers,colors, and letters. If she is not teaching her own children to share at ages 3 and 4, then it is not a healthy social environment for your daughter to develop in, regardless of how nice she may be.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 12:37 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • a child who regularly has items taken from her, without the other child(ren) being corrected, will learn to use the same behaviour to get what she wants. Children learn through living.

    Answer by MakinHappi at 12:38 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Same question was posted on 8:21 AM - Sorry I accidently closed the question but I did not mean to. Please keep your advices coming!

    I also want to THANK YOU for all your great advises from the previous postings, it is greatly appreciated! I don't know what I would do without you all Cafemoms.

    Answer by PeanutJordanMom at 12:41 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • It sounds like you have already gotten your answer. You are the mother, you know that these childrens' behavior is not right toward your why are you hesitating??? You need to know as a mother what is right, and what is wrong. I'm not trying to bash. Just saying use your maternal instincts. Why should you have to post this question twice? It's really not a hard question. It's not a healthy environment, so remove your child from it, and find a better one.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • To Anon at 12:49 AM - Actually no, I do not know if these children's behavior is right or not because this is the first time I put my child in day care, I do not know if it is a norm for other children taking each other's toys; hence, my posting to solicit other parents' advices. And yes, you are bashing. If you think that this is not a hard question, good for you. You don't have to post an answer if you think it's too easy or uninterested.

    We all want our kids to be treated like royalty (at least I do), and I recognize that it may not be realistic, therefore I'd like to solicit advises and experiences from other parents just so that I can set a more realistic and appropriate expectation.

    So far, some say that babies just move on and their feelings are not hurt. Some say otherwise. Now that I have the insights from those helpful postings, I am better equipped to make a decision one way or another.

    Answer by PeanutJordanMom at 1:41 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • No, I agree with you. I mean, yes, kids can pick up bacteria in many different ways, but if you think this is one way to help minimize the spread of germs than you do just what you have too. When I'm out visiting or even going out to an Dr.'s appt with my baby, I always bring her toys with me, to keep her from touching other kid's toys.

    Answer by ronda1656 at 2:26 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • This is what I would do. I would bring a box of toys for her to play with while she is there. Those are HER things for play. If the children wish to play with your daughters things, they must first share thier things. Take them home every night.

    Answer by SusieD250 at 2:36 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • i have a two year old grandson. they are naturealy curious about the world around them. my grandson is into everything. politely tell the woman your taking your child out of her daycare. by her not having a licence she probably has no insurance,so if your child gets hurt by her child whos going to pay the drs. bill. also you can see the lady running the place isnt going to do anything. leave.

    Answer by stressedoutgran at 4:02 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

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