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how do you deal with an abused anerexic/buliamic child please no bashing

okay so most of you know me im 20 i have a son on the way and im now raising my 16 yearold sister because of the abuse from our mother. but my questoin is how do i help her understand that being skinny isnt everything and that our mom wont hate her if she gains some wieght.she crys the whole time the feeding tube is in her tummy pumping food into her little body and screams at me and tells me she hates me for making mama hate her.and she has tried numrous amounts of times today to rip her food pump out or throw up wich she is really good at i mean its just getting on my nerves and when i threatin to go make her live in the hospital she freaks out and has a panic attack so bad she actully has a seizure my husband duck taped her arms and feet down to keep her from ripping it out and gaging her self and he told her to shut the f*** up or he would go in there and give her a reason to cry and call cps and report us!what to do

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:55 AM on Apr. 13, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • i have tried everything to sitting there with her and trying to calm her down.my husband is 35 and much more old fashoined than me and is in the airforce,he deals with her when he gets home so i can take a break i put a tv in her room for her how ever she has issues trying to change the channel i read her books and other things im afraid shes is going to lose her voice or damage a vocal cord from screaming so much her doctor gave us shots to give her during a panic attack to help her calm down but i really hate giveing her drugs and seeing her like that and i would hate to have to start using them to feed her what do i do im not giving up on her .i have no other family to look after her and i just love her so much it just gets hard sometimes to handle hearing her screams and her trying to harm herself the care giver that was hired by the state today tottally agreed with taping her down for her own protectoin
    SarahRandall

    Answer by SarahRandall at 6:05 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • well it sounds like your husband and her have issues and she may be better off in a hospital. Listen, i can see you love your sister very, very much but it really sounds like she needs to go into the hospital and yes she will be pissed off at you but in the end she will realize that you did it cause you love her. GL keep us up dated believe me she will forgive you in the end it will be rough but it has been this for.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:05 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • You sister needs serious psychological help. I would start looking for a program that takes patients with these kinds of people b/c it is not just teenagers with issues like this. This is a mental and physical illness. A program will also cover counseling which she probably needs desperately due to the abuse that she has been through and the problems that she is having. I wish you all the luck.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 7:55 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • She needs help. The type of help that you cannot give her. If she will not go to counciling of some sort, then a home may be optimal. eating disorders are serious and this one sounds quite bad due to the stigma of "mama won't love me". Like pp said, this is an illness and needs to be addressed correctly so she can heal properly.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:17 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I am sure that you are doing the best that you can, but I think your sister needs professional help. I had an eating disorder when I was younger, but it had nothing to do with my parents. My oldest sister is substantially older and has a different father. Both sides of my family are short and chubby. My sister dad is really tall and lean. She took after him. I still had "baby fat" and had a different build but I wanted to be pretty like my sister so badly. I fortunately, was able to get help before it became a huge issue. My other sister had to be hospitalized, but I was not. We are both healthy now, as your sister can be someday, but I think she needs more help then you can provide. And perhaps see if you can't get your husband into a support group or something so he can learn better ways to cope with your sister.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 11:35 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Honey this is more than what you are capable of handling. And your husband is totally not able to deal with this she needs to be where she can get the help she needs and that isn't with you although I know your trying. Find a residential treatment before this kid is worse and not better. You are not trained to handle this. Let somebody who is take care of it.

    babyfat5

    Answer by babyfat5 at 11:51 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • hand her over to some professionals.

    no one needs that kind of stress in their life. I appreciate that you love her and want to help... but sometimes you need to know when to throw in the towel.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

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