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Is it normal for 20 months old to be scared to being alone?..

My son Noah, has been very scare of being alone, he wants to be right next to me all the time! I mean, when we are watching TV and he is sitting down really good by himself but if I stand up to go to the kitchen he starts crying like he is really scared, he also does it when we're in bed and I stand up to turn the lights off, he starts crying and he's face is all terrified... He's always liked to go to daycare, but lately he cries everytime I leave him, he use to love taking a bath, but now he is scared of taking one, I have to force him in there! He doesn't want to go with his dad nor his grandparents, he just wants to be clinched on me and not look at anybody!! This started happening since last week. Could this be a face he is going through?

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Asked by VERONICACP at 8:56 AM on Apr. 13, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (6)
  • ITs a phase and is normal. Have you tried slowly moving away. Stay within sight and then each day move farther away until your around the corner. Let him hear your voice but not see you and then stop talking until he calls for you. Its just separation anxiety. Does he go to daycare or is he with you all the time? Does he sleep with you or in his own room? Do you leave him with a sitter or anything while you work? It is normal but you have to let him see that out of sight doesn't mean your gone and never coming back.

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 9:21 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • separation anxiety. it is normal. reassure him that he is going to be ok. that you and his dad will never let anything bad happen. he will grow through it dont worry. try to be as patient as possible.

    Answer by JessieK79 at 9:22 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Okay I re-read it, have you checked for signs of abuse? Being that scared means something has happened. Have they laid him down in the dark or left him in the tub unattended and he possibly went under? Its one thing for him to fuss a little but to be terrified is another. He is scared of others so that is usually a sign that something traumatic has happened. Have you talked to them? You need to still help him break the cycle by showing him your there but not always allowing him to be on you and near you. You need a break and so does he. I would learn to slowly move away from him and re-direct his attention if he starts getting upset. Comfort him only once and then do what you need to do.

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 9:24 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Im the one who bathes him and I have never left him on his own! I'ne tried getting away from him slowly when he's distracted but when he realizes that Im not there he stars crying and looking for me everywhere.

    Answer by VERONICACP at 9:45 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • It is perfectly normal. Kids go through phases, and this is one of them. My son goes to pre-school and right in the middle of the year he started crying and begging me not to leave him(he was 2 1/2). Then after several months of that he was back to loving school. So now, at 3, he has decided he doesn't want to go to his aunt's house, he asks me to go too, and he loves going there. He also is 'scared' of everything, including "boo", I have no clue who "boo" is, but I suppose he is a ghost from TV. Again, all kids go through phases, it may last months, but he will work through it with reassurance.


    Answer by njpmom06 at 10:29 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • oldest, when he was about 2- 2 1/2 had seperation anxiety. Not too much at home but when he would go to daycare. He would be so upset that he would physically get ill.

    Answer by MommaM2 at 11:19 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

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