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Annoyed w/ Mom & Dad need some advice

So ever since I was a kid my parents have totally favored my younger sister. I know it sounds childish but thats just how it is. I have always been the one to do the right thing, always been there for them no matter what. She has always been the one to go against everything they say, shes mean to them, constantly asking them for money and never paying them back, is so selfish, & shes ALWAYS been so mean to people,etc. My parents never say anything to her the treat her like shes a freaking princess and they are constantly on my ass about things such as My husband needs to mow his yard,We NEED to keep the car(that we can't afford, we are trying to sell it) because the girls need something to ride in (we have 2 other cars, older cars but they are fine),and the list goes on and on, they act like I don't take care of my kids and are constantly making comments about my parenting skills & Im tired of it! I don't know what to do..

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:58 AM on Apr. 13, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • They know that they can make you "jump through their hoops" and know that you are the respectful and mature one--you make them feel like successful parents. They avoid dealing with your younger sister because she gives them a hard time, grief, attitude, etc. Is it right? Absolutely not! But it is much easier to deflect their feelings of inadequacy or parenting advice on to you.

    I would absolutely make it clear to your parents that YOU are not the one who needs parenting advice, that as hard as it is, they need to deal with your younger sister. Remind them of all that you have accomplished, how you are making your way in the world, how your husband is a great provider and you are managing your family just fine, compared to your sister.

    It's tough raising parents these days! LOL Remind them of the rule I'm sure you heard plenty of times growing up with them..."This is our house and our rules!" :o)
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:24 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Have you told them how you feel? Sometimes people don't realize what they are doing. And I don't mean just telling them how they treat her and how they treat you, but tell them how it makes you feel. Point out to them what you see: they give and give and give to her, and she's selfish, mean, and whatever. They get all over you and make you feel like a bad daughter, bad wife, bad mom, etc. Sometimes you really have to be blunt to open someone's eyes and make them realize that they are hurting you.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:02 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Sounds like my mother. After years of criticism with me being a wife and mom, I just told her I want to get along with her and the best way is for us to have a relationship as neighbors, who in reality being that, are less personally critical of each other and are more often happy to hear of kids accomplishments. So for some time now we get along a lot better cause I don't discuss behavior or relationship, finances with her and she doesn't advise me. I realized I was allowing her to make me feel like a failure because I was feeding into her controlling personality. Now the kids share accomplishments and when we gather things are pretty good. it took many years of fights since my early marriage to get to this. Should have done this years ago instead of a year ago. Give it a try, you'll feel better and over time you'll get along better. It is possible to love someone and not be best friends. You must love yourself too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

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