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Why would she do that to me?

Yesterday my fiance's mom called to tell me that she wasn't coming up for Easter, ok fine whatever while she was talking to me she said that my fiance said my mom and him don't get along (truth). We live with my mom and truthfully they really don't get along. Well I walk into another room and then come back to my mom sitting at the desk crying. When I ask her what she's crying about she looks at me and says "I want him out of my house today". I told her I thought she was being over dramatic about his mom just telling the truth. Well then she started telling me "i'm not going to ruin your easter so i'm moving to Ohio (we live in indiana) i'm going to go up there for easter and put my house up for sale." Then she tells me "You can stay here until the house sells then you'll have to find another place to live." Finally I called my uncle and told him what was going on and he came to the house and got her to stop. cont...

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Asked by bassyentihw at 9:33 AM on Apr. 13, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (25)
  • We sat down and started talking while I was balling my eyes out and the only thing she kept saying was I want him out of my house and if you choose him over me i'm selling my house and you all have to leave after it's sold. I talked to my uncle outside while I was trying to calm down and told him I don't want to choose anyone and she had no right to tear my family I made with him apart. She's told me before that if we ever fought in front of our son again she was going to call CPS on us and then kick us out so that she could take our son. I finally ended up telling her I would ask him to go stay at his uncles house for awhile but I still really don't want him to leave and when I talked to him this morning he was crying and had been throwing up all night. She said she feels disrespected in her own house because when he comes in from work he doesn't say hi or ask her how she is. he's not very talkative so it's not him being

    Answer by bassyentihw at 9:38 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • rude. He barely talks to me. I just didn't think it was right for her to give me the ultimatum either pick your mom over your fiance and childs father or she's going to leave and you'll be homeless. What would you have done? If we had the money to move out together we would but we have around $300 to our name so we can't afford an apartment and there's no one else we can move in with. We moved here to save money but we live so far away from his work that a lot of that money goes to gas.

    Answer by bassyentihw at 9:40 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Your story sounds just like mone used to when I lived at my MIL's. My advice to you is, find a way to get out now. No One should ever have to live with thier MIL. THey will probably never get along, so they will never be okay living with each other.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I don't think it is fair to tell you to choose between your fiance and her or to try to break the family apart. I do however feel it is disrespectful to walk into your moms house and not say hello or anything to her. It is mom's house and you all are lving there with her, talkative or not, he should have the respect to at least address someone who is allowing him to live there JMO

    Answer by onyourterms at 9:43 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • There really arent many options for you except to move out on your own. Get assistance if you have to, but move out and live your life with your husband and your son. I am sorry she is being like that, but essentially it is her house and no matter how horrible she wants to be as long as you are there you have to put up with it. Gl

    Answer by AK_aries at 9:44 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I went through something similar with my ex. You CANNOT let your mother live your life for you!! I CANNOT stress that enough! If you allow her, she'll come between you and any man you have, and you will never be happy. If she wants to pull this stunt, you have no choice. Your df obviously chose you over his family when he moved in with you and your mother over his own. Don't choose your own mother over him after this. She sounds vary manipulative, and she won't stop to get her own way. My ex mil was that way til a few months before she died.

    If you get thrown out, at least you are still with your df and child(ren). I've dealt with CPS before, and they will investigate. If there's no cause for it, the kids WILL NOT BE REMOVED no matter what your mother tries to pull. They will offer help if they see a problem, but it has to be severe for the kids to be removed.

    PM me if you need more support.

    Answer by rhope4 at 9:46 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Obviously your mother is NOT happy with this living arrangement, and the only she can show you how upset she is, is to move and sell HER home. It's really sad that neither you OR your fiance can see that. Obviously she has hit her breaking point!

    Based on what you said, it seems as if neither of you are working hard to make your OWN way in the world--$300 to your names while living off your mother? How long has this been going on?! Add to the fact that your fiance cannot muster up some basic gratitude and respect to your mother, because he's just not a "talker?!" You need to stop ENABLING your fiance to walk all over you the two of you.

    Your fiance needs to "man up" and do better for his dependents, and YOU need to also make financial contributions...go back to school, get a job or a better paying one, etc. I assume your mother watches your children)? If I were your mother and felt powerless I too, would want to scream!

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:53 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I already let her know that even though he's staying with his uncle i'm still talking to him EVERYDAY. We've also made plans that on his days off we're going to either get a cheap hotel room or go to his grandparents house in western Kentucky so that we can be together. We've also already talked about me bringing our son to see him as much as possible since i'm going to be keeping the only car that we can drive. His uncle only lives a few houses down from where he works so maybe we can save money faster while he's looking for a better paying job.

    Answer by bassyentihw at 9:54 AM on Apr. 13, 2009


    Answer by missaka023 at 9:56 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Any way you can move in with the uncle? I'd be willing to sleep in a tent in the backyard at this point if it were me, and with summer just around the corner, it's doable.

    Answer by rhope4 at 9:59 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

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