Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I still throw her a baby shower?

My sister is pregnant with her fourth child. I never thought she needed a baby shower in the first plac, but she guilted me into promising to throw one for her. Well, this was before I lost my second child(I m/c back in Oct) Last month, she had me go down to her house and clean and scrub it and paint it all while she did nothing. She blew up at me because I took a day off to go visit a friend, and told me I was lazy, disrespectful, and a b*tch. (No, she didn't pay me to do this for her, I did it because she made me feel like crap about having a nice home and her home being dirty) So, I finally blew up right back, and in a REALLY cold voice told her to "Never ask me for help again".
Now, her baby shower is on Mother's Day weekend(I know she did it on purpose so she would have all the attention instead of sharing it with my mom and I) and I don't want to throw it. She uses me and she is insensitive to my pain w/m/c. What do I do

Answer Question

Asked by mama4Christ361 at 10:55 AM on Apr. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (52 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Don't do anything you don't want to do. It's her fourth kid for goodness sakes. She's being unreasonable and disrespectful. On Mother's Day? She's lost her mind! I wouldn't do it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:59 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • To me it sounds like she is taking advantage of your kindness and she knows that you are going to let her get away with it, why else would she keep doing it? The moment she would have called herself snapping at me when i'm doing something nice for her I would have put her in her place! I personally would have been and said no the baby shower. BUT if you already have everthing bought and paid for for that day then that will be money down the drain unless you can take it back. Maybe see if your mom will talk over? Does your sister not have friends or anyone else that can do it beside you?

    Answer by LaKena at 11:00 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Personally, I wouldn't do it. I'd tell her that it was very very selfish of her to expect me to do this after I'd lost a baby. That I'm still hurting because I would be having a shower of my own about now, and that it hurts, and second of all, the way she talked to you... I wouldn't do anything for her right now, not till she atleast gave a heartfelt apology and third... why have a shower for a 4th child? I've never understood why you even would after the second unless they were years and years apart, but that's just me (I didn't have one for any of my 3).

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:00 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • IMO, IF your sister is going to be that disrespectful and unthankful for the things you do for her then I wouldn't do it.. BUT thats me.. lol AND for another reason, who has a baby shower for a "forth" child?? I don't want to sound rude in NO way.. BUT come on.. I always thought a baby shower was for a "new" baby w/ a "new" mom.. MAYBE I'm wrong.. I have 2 kids I had a baby shower for the first child but w/ my second I didn't.. I would be ashamed for someone to give me a shower for my forth child.. Again thats just ME.. lol jmo..

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 11:05 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • IMO she is rude and is only thinking of herself. She can't make you do anything you don't want to so just stop doing it. Let her throw her own baby shower.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • No. She's a selfish, evil beeeyatch.

    Girl, why would you let anyone treat you this way? Honestly! Just because she's related doesn't give her or anyone the right to treat you like crap.

    Now, grab a spine, look her in the eye and say "No thank you!"

    Good luck!


    Answer by MizKizzy at 11:10 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I wouldn't waste another minute of my life doing something for someone so ungrateful and selfish. Not to mention, glutinous. Who has a shower for their fourth child? That is ridiculous. Enough is enough.

    Answer by ooph at 11:18 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Yep, I'm with everyone else. You are being used and abused by this ungrateful, hateful relative. Refuse to be put in that sutuation. Tell her straight up. I am not throwing your shower, nor am I attending a shower thrown by anyone else. When you grow up, act like an adult and want an adult relationship with me we'll talk.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 11:29 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • This sounds like a co-dependent relationship. You are enabling her. Stop doing that. You are then one who is the nice, kind, giving sister. And she is EXPECTING you to keep doing what SHE wants. Break that habit now and you will be happier. She will try her best to make you feel terrible about it and she'll say terrible things. This is not how you treat someone you love. Don't give in. Eventually she will see that you aren't gonna give in and hopefully she will give up. It will take time though. I have been through this with my sister so I know how you feel. Good luck.

    Answer by GMR at 11:31 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I see nothing wrong with having a shower with EVERY child. Just because they are the second, third or fourth doesn't make them any less special. Granted they probably don't need all the baby items like they did with the first but baby showers that are given after the first baby are about celebrating the pregnancy and expectation of a new family member. With that said..if you don't want to do it then don't.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:14 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
Why would she do that to me?

Next question overall (Pets)
Whats going on