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Baby dedication vs Baptisim

Ok so I know this issue going to come up between me and my mom eventually. She is very traditional religious. I am not. I know she is going to want me to get my son baptized. But I would rather go for a baby dedication. A friend of mine, that happens to be very religious, explained to me that a baby dedication is when you are dedicating yourself to God in that you will teach your child about Him. She explained that with a baptism the baby isnt conciously accepting God because, well hes a baby! I would much rather do the baby dedication, but this means it will be at my nondenominational church that my mother doesnt like. And I cant really say the "its my baby I can do what I want" thing because she is VERY influencial in decisions with my baby and that phrase just doesnt fly with her (thats just how it is). So I was wondering, would it be WRONG to do both? Baby dedication and baptism, that way both of us get what we want?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Apr. 13, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (14)
  • So you mean get Baby Dedication at your church and Baby Baptism at Grandma's church. That's kind of like having a double wedding blessing or ceremony when there a difference of religion.
    I don't see any thing wrong with it, but I'd tell both churches both ceremonies will be done. More blessings from God can't hurt!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Wouldn't doing the baptism defeat the purpose of doing the dedication instead? If you REALLY want to give in to your mom, go for the baptism.

    Personally, my parents are also very influential in my parenting. But when it came to baptism and dedication, I put my foot down. I had my DD dedicated and haven't done anything with my DS - we (DH and I) have decided to allow them to chose baptism on their own, if they desire, when they're older. Baptism should be a conscious decision, IMHO, and a baby just isn't capable of it.

    Of course, in some churches, baptism and dedication are the same and interchangeable.
    jennijune_21

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 11:22 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I would explain to your mom as I did. That baby dedication is that you are dedicating to your child that you will teach them about God. And when the child is old enough to ACCEPT God as his SAVIOR then you will have him baptized. My MIL had to explain the difference to me and I believe that this is what we will do. My mom is catholic and believes that all babies have to be baptized, but I like the idea of dedication vs baptizing at this age. You are that child's mom and you make the decisions whether influenced by you mom or not. You decided what you need to do and go with that even if it is at a non denominational church. Those are the churches where many people of many faiths congregate because they don't feel comfortable in a church of their chosen faith. I wish you luck.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 11:24 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I don't think it is wrong at all to do both. My nephew was "dedicated" to his fathers place of worship when he was a baby, his father is Jewish. And then when he was 8 years old he was baptized at a Catholic church, his mother is Catholic.
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 11:26 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • i dont see anything wrong with doing both.
    But i do see something wrong with you not standing up for yourself. That is YOUR baby and YOU make the choices. if you CHOOSE to take your moms advice or follow her decisions that is still ultimitley the choice YOU are making for your child. ...i think you should stand up for yourself and your baby. Why let it go on for years and years and end up having to do it on a much bigger issue? JMHO.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 11:30 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Here's my 2 cents, speaking as one who has grown up in a variety of evangelical denomination churches...I don't personally believe in infant baptism. I believe that baptism should be symbolic of a concious choice to follow Christ, and that it is a choice one makes when they are capable of having some level of understanding of what that means. I don't, however, think it is going to hurt anything if your mom feels strongly about it. Much of the same rhetoric is used at both, but in some cases (such as catholicism), you also promise to raise the child in the catholic church. I would not feel comfortable doing that because it would be a lie. I suggest speaking with the pastor/priest of you mom's church, as well as your own to see what exactly their ceremony symbolizes. If you strongly disagree with the theology, stand your ground. Otherwise, honor your mother and go ahead with both.
    KateKevinAdopt

    Answer by KateKevinAdopt at 11:37 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Darling, with all due respect, I honestly believe the best thing would be to stand up to your Mom; this is your child, you don't have to do as she wishes, you have to do what you believe is right for your precious son. I'm sorry if this isn't the kind of answer you were looking for, but, I beleive if you don't set things straight you're going to always be doing things to appease your Mom, I mean where will it end? I guess I just feel doing both ceremonies is a bandage solution & not a resolution to the real problem. Only you can decide if you are comfortable with this setup, I think that's what really counts. Although, I get the sense that she wouldn't approve of doing both ceremonies, hopefully, this will work out for you. Sorry, honey, thats the best I've got.

    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 11:39 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • well it's not only that it's your baby, but it also influences you. you decided that you wanted a different religion than your mom. so if you give into her, then you're giving in on your faith. you believe different than she does, you're an adult, she needs to except that. i got my baby dedicated, i personally don't believe in baptising a baby, they have no idea what's going on, they're just getting wet. baptism is the act of washing away your sins, and you understand that. it means you've washed yourself of the sins you've done and will not go back to doing them. why baptise babies if they haven't even sinned?? yeah yeah, i know we're all born into sin, but that doesn't mean we've already sinned, it means we're going to sin when we're older, everyone does. you don't teach kids to lie do you? they just learn on their own (i.e. they lie when you ask if they hit so and so, they know they're gonna get in trouble)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I agree with bubbaluva Its your child my mom is very religious and I am not but your raising your child not her you need to do what you feel comfortable with and know that nobody is ever going to be happy but you cant walk thru life trying to please everyone either.

    raurismomma07

    Answer by raurismomma07 at 11:46 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • No, its not wrong. My faith goes more of the baby dedication route. Its more about the parents than the child. A child has to make a conscious decision to accept Christ when they are older anyway, so I am not really sure of the point of baptizing a baby. But maybe thats just because its not part of my faith. I think though that if you are doing this to appease your mother because shes very influential, you have bigger problems. It sounds like you might be young and you need your mothers input. Thats great and its fine, but theres got to be a line. If you don't draw one now, as you get older and more mature, and you feel more comfortable with your choices, you will want her to back off and stop telling you what to do and it will be harder on your relationship. She will have had so much say up until this point that she won't be able to let go. I know its hard, but its good practice for you to learn to be respectful,cont..
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 11:46 AM on Apr. 13, 2009

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