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Advise?

My name is Rachael and I am 20 years old with a two year old son. I was very young when I got pregnant and was going to place him for adoption because I simply was not ready. But emotions changed and soon after so did my desisions. Sometimes I still feel like i'm not ready, sometimes i feel like i'm not happy. But I do love my son with all of my heart, it is just hard to get through the day sometimes when i feel like i should be a normal 20 year old. I feel like i am losing a part of my youth.

Any advise?

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MotherPeace88

Asked by MotherPeace88 at 12:13 PM on Apr. 13, 2009 in Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Welcome to motherhood. I had my daughter at 22. I got married at 20. Maybe you just need a break. Sounds like you could use little me time. Do you have any relatives around or friends? My mom was a single mom and she would always be at her breaking point. She decided to send me and my brother to my grandparents for the whole summer. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
    dawn_misayo

    Answer by dawn_misayo at 12:18 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I think what you are feeling is normal. It's wonderful that you chose to raise your son and do your best to be a good mother. Is the father involved? Maybe he could take your son for a weekend or even just a night and you can go be a normal 20-year-old. Or find a family memeber that will do that. Just because you are a mother, doesn't mean you have to stop being a woman also. As long as you can find a balance. Maybe ask a family memeber to once a month, watch your son for 24 hours and go have fun. It's okay as long as you can find a balance. That's just my opinion though.
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 12:18 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Well, first of all, You DID lose your freedom in youth, so to speak. You did not lose your youth. You can still enjoy your youth, get out there and have some fun. The only difference between you and others your age, is that you have a son. He is your priority in life. As a young mother myself, I know how you feel, but you just can't have any regrets. What you have is a beautiful little boy who probably thinks the world of you. You need to think about him and not so much focus on what you are missing out on. LOTS of women are moms at young ages. Trust me, you are not missing out on the foolishness, so to speak, of the youth out there. You have been given a lovely gift.

    If you feel like you are not happy, you need to find stuff that makes you happy. Try getting out there and taking your son to the Zoo or a Museaum. Have some fun together!
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 12:18 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • exactly what is a normal 20 year old? i had my son when i was 20. my advice is to grow up. you made the decision to keep this baby, you have to grow up and be an adult now. just enjoy being with your child. he needs you to be there and guide him to become a mature adult

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Keep in mind that when your son is grown and goes away to college, you will still be young enough to get out there and have fun again. A lot of women revert back to being a teenager when they have kids young and then their child gets older and moves out of just becomes more independent. But you will still be young and be able to have fun!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • If you ever need to chat feel free to send me a message. I'm 21 and have a 1year old and a 2 month old!
    dedicatedrider

    Answer by dedicatedrider at 12:22 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • 2 year olds are hard anyways. I know after I had kids my husband and I really don't get a ton of time to be alone. But even though we aren't 20 we miss being just a couple so we can have the freedom to do whatever we feel like doing. Now we have to plan it. Try to get some time away for a movie or anything. Trust me it helps! But then again you did chose this and with that comes great responsibility. You knew this would change your life, forever. Hang in there Momma!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • For couse you lost your youth. We all sacrifice something for all children. It's had for everyone at some point in time. We've all been there. Hold on Momma and do your best. That's all you can do.
    lilnivy

    Answer by lilnivy at 4:20 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

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