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Is it selfish for a mother of grown children to expect or hope for her kids to at least drop by for five minutes when they are in the neighborhood?

I feel selfish for getting a little cranky because my son was in the area all weekend and did not manage to stop by the house for five minutes for a hug. Don't mothers get preferential treatment, after all we did carry them for nine months and nurture them for 18 years and still bend over backwards to help make life easier for them.

 
angelwings2000

Asked by angelwings2000 at 12:54 PM on Apr. 13, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (29)
  • NO! Nuff said. I hope your kids will understand w/ time how important a quick hello is to someone who raised them for so many years....young adults are very selfish for the most part, still find it hard to manage their time and are clueless to the needs of others, my belief is they don't do any of this on purpose, they are still immature and will learn as they go, they will always take us for granted knowing we are always "just here"......continue to remind them how you would love for them to stop by and let them know you know they are 'busy" people....I know its dispappointing and you are definitlely not selfish!
    mommastace

    Answer by mommastace at 7:12 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • I'm sorry that this happened to you. I agree that you should have received some priority if he was that close by, especially. What a disappointment.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 12:57 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • ur not selfish. u raised him and u miss him. thats how moms r. tell him how u feel. dont get sappy tho. hell b lik awww mom noo. thats how they r. u should b a big part in his life after all u carried him for 9 months and took care of him most of his life so far.
    xhellxfirex495

    Answer by xhellxfirex495 at 1:04 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I hear ya, loud and clear. My son lives an hour/half away. We're divorced, but both ex and I live in the same town. When he goes to Dad's for something, you'd think it an automatic visit to Mom. Most times it is, but on those times it's not....OUCH! But I do realise he's very busy, and I'm very busy, so......
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 1:06 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • My mom probably wishes that she had this problem, LOL. She can't get rid of her kids at all... She has 4 kids, and 4 grandkids, and we are always here visiting, I don't think my parents get any time to theirselves. Ha. Well I would mention it to him, and let him know that it bothered you, Have him take you to lunch to make up for his mistake... :(
    pamelajqs

    Answer by pamelajqs at 1:07 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • NO YOU ARE NOT ASKING TO MUCH,OF HIM,,,I WOULD CALL HIM & SAY HEY DID YOU MISS YOUR MOTHER THIS WEEKEND,,? I SURE MISSED YOU,WISH YOU WOULD DROP BY SOMETIME,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
    island_barb-200

    Answer by island_barb-200 at 1:15 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I feel very lucky. My son comes over once a week. Sometimes stays long other times just a kiss hug I luv ya few minute stay. Always stop in if around the area

    I am so sorry this happens to you. Your son should realize how special his mom is.
    nutty-mom

    Answer by nutty-mom at 1:46 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I hear ya. My daughter and son-in-law have been doing this to me for 5 years. It use to piss me off...now I realize that the only person that is feeling bad is me. SO I don't give them my power. BUT yes I think it is so wrong!!!

    I feel for you and understand completely how you feel.....♥
    sonja007

    Answer by sonja007 at 1:49 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • That would hurt me! Rachel frequently drops by, says lets have coffee, etc. or asks me to meet her on her lunchbreak. I'm sad for you Liana! Have you expressed how you feel? Sometimes even grown kids can be thoughtless and clueless.
    wishbearmom

    Answer by wishbearmom at 2:48 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • How long has he been on his own? Thing is you have to give them time to miss home. Right now he is thinking, man I was there for 18 years, I need some time on my own. Which really means he is learning how to be an adult and take care of himself. Not to worry tho, sooner or later, he will either miss you or need advice or help, and come to the adults who have made the biggest impact on his life. My oldest did this too. Went a while without hearing from her unless I called, same with visits. Then she needed advice. Now she calls or texts everyday to every couple of days. HAng in there mom.
    anorman08

    Answer by anorman08 at 3:22 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

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