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Get out

On the issue of abusive relationships, get out of them. You deserve the best. A few weeks ago there was a woman in our state, not far from where I live, a woman and her daughter were murdered by the husband/father with an ax. She had just happened to work in the same place my brother in law, as a correctional officer. Think about that before you decide you want to stay. If someone who works in law enforcement with a restraining order isn't safe, who is?


Asked by IRA871 at 1:40 PM on Apr. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
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Answers (6)
  • Abused women don't always heed the warnings to get out. They are connected by trauma bonding and the man's urgings that she believe him when he says he loves her and will change. She wants to believe so badly that he doesn't mean to hurt her. She's different. She's not like other abused women. He's different. he'll change. She thinks she caused the abuse (he tells her that she did). Then when she leaves he punishes her for that and makes life miserable until she has to go back bc there is no where for her to go (in her opinion). He tells her she's stupid and fat and ugly and no one would hire her or want her. There is so much more involved emotionally than logic and just walking out. Yes I'd love to see all women who are being abused walk out and live happily ever after but it doesn't always work that way. Perhaps what some endure when they leave is worse than what they endured while at home so they stay or go back.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:14 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • situation as that ONLY get worse. The abuse just turns into something differently when they say they will change and acutally attempt to change. You're right though that is a scary thought when you are apart of the law huh?

    Answer by Jess288 at 1:53 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Sounds so simple to everyone except the victim. Been there, done that, but I did get out. Can't see what I ever saw in him now, but he had me convinced that he was the best thing that ever happened to me...until a friendship turned to romance and then to remarriage.

    Yep, I had to cheat to get out, and I'd do it again!

    Answer by rhope4 at 2:11 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I was in a relationship for a short time, where I was engaged to this person, he hit me once, and that's all it took to end it. My mom helped me move my stuff out within 4 hours. Every woman is different when it comes to the decision to stay or not.

    Answer by IRA871 at 2:19 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • What is you question? Aren't you the one with the perfect husband who would do no wrong and the perfect life? Where is your credibility to tell others how to live their life? If she had a restraining order then she probably tried to leave and he killed her for it. So you want all abused women to unite and walk out in a major boycott against abuse so they can all be killed like she was. yeah, that's the answer.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • My husband is far from perfect, said he was an honest man, when it comes to our communication. As for telling others how to live, I am not, it is their choice what they are going to do. I put this as hopefully a motivation that they are deserving a good safe relationship, without fear of being hurt or worse, and not end up like this lady.

    Answer by IRA871 at 2:29 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

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