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Custody issues and visitations...

My parents adopted my child at birth, but they allowed me to raise her. There isn't enough room on here to type out all the details. But she (my bio daughter) has known me as her mother since she was born...she is 7 years old now. She doens't understand the legalities of everything going on. All she does knows is that grandma adopted her, but she lives (or use to live) with her birth mom.

In January 2009, they took her back. I am currently trying to get her back. The petition was sent a few weeks ago, and my lawyer got their response last week. Ever since they took her back, my parents allows me to see her twice a day during the week after work and on saturdays. My husband and my in-laws thinks it is best for me to stop seeing her until the court date. I don't see the point in that. I don't see her, then she might think that I stopped loving her. Just thought I'd see what other people think.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Apr. 13, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • I wouldn't stop seeing her. Just do what you are until the court date.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Well, there must be a reason they took her back in the 1st place. I think its kind of hard to say without knowing why they don't want you to see her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:03 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • If they're allowing you to see her no matter with others present or not, i think it's in your favor to continue. You want t prove to the court you can conduct yourself in a responsible respectful way with your daughter and also with your parents. I think that's what the courts will be looking at, how you are since they took her back and when you had her compared to when they at the very first had her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:15 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • You want to prove to the courts that you want to be involved. If you just stop seeing her, the courts may take that as a sign that you didn't want to see her. You should stay as involved as your parents will let you be considering the circumstances.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 3:23 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Yes I'm curious as to why they took her back after all that time? Then it would be easier to answer your question...

    Answer by 4x4mum at 4:21 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • hard to get a child back after you allowed the child to be adopted. Good luck with that. Not sure what the point was since you raised her anyway. Keep us posted. This should be interesting to see what a judge says. I'm sure the child is totally confused so seeing her now and confusing her more couldn't make things worse than they are.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I agree with anon :23 . . .

    Why allow them to adopt her and then raise her?

    It's going to be VERY VERY hard to get her back with her being adopted by them. It will show in your favor if you've been a good, caring, responsible parent, drug free, no legal worries, that kind of thing. But if they are also good parents, and are physically and emotionally able to care for them . . . well, you will have one hell of a challenge on your hands here. Good luck, and let us know how it's going.

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 4:41 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Im the one who posted mom is not always in her right mind. Ever since I got married my mom has been trying to find reasons to accuse us of abusing my bio daughter. She tries to find any reason possible to take her back. The way she got her back in Jan...she took my bio daughter to a therapist....didn't include me in the session....when I finally found them, she told me that the therapist said to take my bio daughter back now. She also said that if I want to know what I have done wrong...then I have to find my own therapist because this therapist refuses to see me or talk to me. Once I find my own therapist, then my therapist will talk to my bio daughter's therapist to figure out how to help our situation. I know this all sounds odd...I am still trying to make sense of it all.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • This whole situation just sounds odd to me.

    Why did you have your parents adopt your child in the first place? You did this to yourself IMO They're her adoptive parents and you can't just reverse that, especially after so long, even if you have been in her life this whole time. I think the courts will have you all work out a visitation agreement, which is fair.

    Answer by BaisMom at 5:23 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • DO NOT STOP SEEING HER!! That will make you look bad in court. You keep visiting her like they allow and wait to see what happens at court. You may not get custody back but you should get more visitation. If you stop seeing her, it will look like you are giving up and don't want her. Keep visiting and showing her how much you love her. She knows more than you think and understands more than you realize.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 6:25 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

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