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Should I let my daughter's father see her? Am I right or wrong? What should I do?

Me and my daughter's father aren't together and weren't together when she was born. Two days after I had her he said he wanted a paternity test and he didn't sign her birth certificate. But he knows she's his, but is just denying her because his back with his firth daughter's mom. About a week after I had her he asked me how she was doing, I told him don't worry about it, and I haven't let him see her.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Jun. 20, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • If he is her father and wants a relationship, he will be able to have one. Eventually, you will have to deal with this because your daughter will want to know about her father and maybe see him if she hasn't. How will you answer if/when she asks why you didn't let her know him growing up? I would talk to other moms in your position and your family (if you can) about what is best for your daughter. In the end, you will be glad you did what is best for and she will to. It is a hard situation. Find out from him what his intentions are and go from there. You will know what to do in time.
    manna1qd

    Answer by manna1qd at 3:13 PM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • It would be sad for her later on to find out that you kept her from having a relationship with her dad...she may resent you for that. If he will not harm her in any way...it is good for a child to have both parents involved in their lives. Try to put your feelings aside for him and see it through her eyes. When we put our kids first, we cant go wrong. good luck
    MommasCooCoo

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 3:32 PM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • The burden of proof is on HIM to petition the courts for a blood test to proove it.And he is the one that will be paying ALOT for a DNA test. AND he should be paying child support if he wants to see her. It's up to you to let yourself be steamrolled by him to let him see her for free. Even if you know it's his, get the physical proof, cause somewhere down the road not getting a formal court order will end up biting you in the but when you least expect it and end up costing you BIG bucks to sort it all out, after the fact. Whats to stop him from saying HE had her most of the time anyways and that your crazy and unstable and then the burden of proof is on you to proove otherwise, and dont think it's EASY cause it aint. Espically when your standing on his door step some weekend with a cop trying to get your kid back and YOU look like the hysterical one. Do yourself a big favor and get the proof now so you dont end up paying later
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 4:21 PM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • The best thing is to just let him see her you know that already,I know it's probably hard for you but think about her first.
    tracey77978

    Answer by tracey77978 at 4:44 PM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • a lot of people r saying " you should let him see her. what ever, i grew up without knowing my "dad" and i frankly don't care. i never did. yes at a certain age i asked about him and my mom answered my questions honestly w/o bashing him or saying anything negative about him. the final decition come down to what's best for your child. is this man a good man. not is he good for or too you but is he good in general. will your child benifit from having him in her life orr will it hurt her. i agree that it should go through the court to make sure there is no issue later, but you should put your feeling for him aside an do what's best for baby girl.
    shykendes

    Answer by shykendes at 5:56 PM on Jun. 20, 2008

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