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Do you think when someone lies to you they really care?

This goes for everything. Do you think your family and friends really care about you if they just tell you what you want to hear? Wouldn't you want to know the truth? Wouldn't the best way to show you care is by being frank, not by sugar coating things?
I ask because I was in a situation where I was destroying myself. I didn't eat right. I was a drug addict. All of my actions could of killed me. Yet the people who claimed to love me didn't even try to reach out and tell me the truth. they turned a blind eye and hoped for the best. Do you think that was showing they loved me, or cared? I don't think so.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Apr. 13, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (26)
  • Wow there are a lot of people who would rather kiss butt that tell the truth.

    I personally would have told you. If that made you angry. I would explain that I was trying to be a real friend. Not a fake friend.

    If you couldn't accept that then that is your buisness.


    Answer by mo2a27 at 5:33 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • It depends on what the lie is.

    Sometimes people lie because they don't want to hurt your feelings.

    Sometimes people lie TO hurt your feelings.

    It's all about the intent.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • And, OP, I don't think that's very fair to assume they didn't care just because YOU couldn't get your act together.
    That had to have been a tough situation for them. Have you ever tried to approach an addict? It's not pretty. They may have been afraid of you or your reaction.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:05 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Well to answer your first question... No, if someone lies to you, to me that means they don't care and don't respect you.... For your other question... Yes I think them turning a blind eye when you needed help the most shows that they didn't care enough to get off their lazy asses and do something about it. To me ignoring a problem like that is them just not wanted to address it at all! Ignoring something and hoping it will go away on makes it worse!

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 5:05 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Maybe your family tried and you didn't see that they were trying to help... maybe they did tell you straight up front and you just didn't hear or see what they were trying to do/say....
    They say it takes the addict to "WANT" the help before the help can come...

    Answer by gmasboy at 5:06 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I agree with Anon 4:03 - it does depend on the lie.

    Not that I'm saying I ever want to be lied to, but if they're intentions are good, or they're trying to boost your morale . . . well, you know. :-)

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 5:06 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I needed to hear those words. Sometimes we need someone to step in and show they care especially when its clear we don't care enough about ourselves.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:10 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I think it's OK to tell little white lies e.g. telling people their cake tastes fine when it's really dry and nasty. Lies that can come back and bite you on the butt are not OK. Lies told deliberately to try and hurt people are not OK e.g. my sister is currently spreading a bunch of stupid lies about me to try and make me look bad.

    In your case, I think someone should have told you what was going on for your own good but it's really hard to do something like that. I noticed the other day that one of my facebook friends changed her status from married to 'it's complicated' so I sent her a message. Apparently I was the only one to say anything, apparently everyone else was afraid to broach the subject.

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 5:10 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Some people will pretent they don't see it hoping it goes away because they don't know what to do or how to handle it and than most with an addiction don't want to hear about it unless they are ready to change, the change has to start within the addict, we can tell them they have a problem but they won't listen because they are in denial until they are ready......


    Answer by lisarose45 at 5:11 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • They say it takes the addict to "WANT" the help before the help can come...

    I watched my father drink himself to death. Over the years we had plenty of conversations about him wanting to stop. What it came down to was this - he told me one day he knew he had a drinking problem, he just didn't care. How do you argue with that? For the last 10 years of his life, I said nothing. I worried, and cried my eyes out, and cheered when he did stop drinking for a short while (shorter than we all thought, it turns out). Saying something wouldn't have mattered, because he'd made it very clear he did not care.

    Ask yourself if you ever did the same.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 5:14 PM on Apr. 13, 2009