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Has anyone been through a miscarriage? No one wants to talk about it.

I found out at 8 weeks that the baby stopped growing at 5wks 4dys. I am very blessed with an almost 9 month old son. I am so scared to try again for a 2nd baby. My first pregnancy was perfect and now I am so afraid. Is there something wrong with me physically and will it happen again?

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Asked by peanutbutter123 at 5:10 PM on Apr. 13, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

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Answers (12)
  • First of all you should let a doctor tell you if you are physically able. My experience is this. I had a miscarriage. I went to the hospital at 20 weeks and 4 days. i found out my baby girl had been dead for 5 weeks. i had been to the doctor 4 weeks prior. the doctor said she heard a heart beat but i never did. anyway i had a d&e to have my baby "removed". I never got to see her because of the d&e. she had turned to stone and the doc. said i wouldnot want to remember her that way. i had to wait 6 months before getting pregnant again. but i now have a healthy 3 year old son and a healthy 17month old daughter. my children are 21 months apart and i love my kids but they can really drive me insane. and i wouldn't trade that for the world. good luck and send me a message if you have anymore questions or just want to talk. good luck and i am sorry for your loss.

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 5:18 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I haven't had a miscarriage, my sister did 2 years ago, I think it was, some people don't want to talk about it, maybe it saddens them. Maybe give it some time, if you had a healthy first preg., why wouldn't you again? Sometimes things happen. God bless on this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:18 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • If you already have a healthy baby boy than I'm sure its not a physical thing. The chances of having a second miscarriage do go up after having a first one, however not as much as if you didn't already have a child. For example, I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks with my first pregnancy, was told my chances of another then went from someone w/o having had one at 20% up to 50%, then I had a second miscarriage and my chances went up to 80%. However now I have a great 3 yr old daughter and am almost full term with a boy. So try not to look to hard at the numbers of things. Did you have a D & C? If so then they may check and see what caused the miscarriage, for my second I had one and discovered it was a genetic defect that would have caused me to have a still birth or the baby would not likely have lived after the age of 1. Most miscarriages are nature, or God's way of preventing the birth of a child who would have severe problems...

    Answer by vabchmommy at 5:21 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Cont..if you want someone to talk to please feel free to message me. I know how hard it is to go through that, even though some people don't understand when it is that early in the pregnancy. I will answer any questions you have to the best of my ability and let you know what was normal for me. I'm terribly sorry for your loss

    Answer by vabchmommy at 5:22 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Hi, I just want to let you know you are not alone. I am certain you can have another child. There just may be some healing to be done, is all, and the question is are you ready to do what it takes to heal what is blocking you from trusting the creator within? Many children coming through right now are also very special high beings, in that they need you to heal all aspects of your past and the core issues keeping you from loving yourself fully. They need that because with it creates a pure light and vibration/ frequency, in you, for their ability to come in. Like I say, these are special beings and ask you to step into your true power so they can come through and be in theirs.

    Have you properly let your child go and grieved it? There are certain things you can do to release and send the child into the Light that will help you move to more stable grounding...blessings for your healing. Elisabeth

    Answer by babyspiritcoach at 6:05 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • i have had 2 miscarraiges the first i got pregnant on my hunny moon and my husband and i wanted to wait a couple of yrs. before we started trying but anyway i should have bee 10-12 weeks when the baby's heartbeat stopped we knew there was something wrong and that the baby wasn't growing like it was supposed to but we waited untill there wasn't a heartbeat before we had a d&c. we were told to wait 3 months (for emotional purposes) and we waited about 4 tried again got pregnant right away and i naturally miscarried at about 4 weeks. then after that i wanted to wait atleast a yr before we tried again because i was very hurt but ended up pregnant 2 weeks later and so far so good still nervous i'm 18 weeks now. i still feel its hard to deal with but easier if i don't keep it in. there is a group you can join i think its pregnancy after a miscarriage or loss and i think its helped me alot. gl!

    Answer by av0531 at 7:25 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I just went throught the same thing 5 weeks ago. I was 8 weeks also. Everyone tells me that I can start trying in 2 months and so many people go on after a miscarriage to have perfectly healthy babies.

    Answer by beingamomrocks1 at 8:28 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I have to disagree with the miscarriage risk going up after you have one. My doctor told me after I had one that it gave no inclinations on future pregnancies at all. It's after you have two or more than they begin to question your reproductive health, and I think they have to be in a row. My experience was...I found out at 11 weeks that the baby had stopped developing at around 8 weeks. They passed me around from ultrasound tech to ultrasound tech to "be sure" since it was so early, they wanted to make sure I wasnt' just carrying too early to hear a heartbeat. Then I ended up "passing" everything on my own. I was soooo stressed when I found out I was pregnant again two years later. I was constantly searching for blood and asking my mom "is this normal" "what about this?" In the end I gave birth to a healthy baby girl. Most miscarriages are just a result of a baby being unhealthy, not you. Good luck to you!

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 9:47 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I had a miscarriage 2 years ago. I went for an ultrasound tech and she scanned my uterus and promptly left the room telling me to get dressed. When I met her outside she had a picture of my uterus and a picture of what one was supposed to look like. She said mine was "Mis-shapen and unnatural." I was heartbroken. It didn't bother her in the least to tell my business to the other women within earshot. I had a miscarriage and have been scared to have another baby. My husband and I are TTC now.

    This wasn't my first miscarriage but I always felt guilty thinking that God was punishing me for something I did wrong. That if I was healthier then my babies would have lived. The only thing I can tell you is to talk about it. Do not keep it in. It hurts to discuss it but it festers inside you if you don't. Do not do that to yourself. Take care of you.

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 8:09 AM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • I had one three months ago. It was early, but still devastating. I figured that couldn't happen to me because I already have a healthy daughter. I am afraid of getting pregnant again too. I actually think there is a good chance I am pregnant right now. I am so scared that I am, and I am so scared I am not. Crazy I know. I am so terrified of going through that again. You are not alone. I am going to go check out the group mentioned.

    Answer by stassy77 at 9:10 PM on May. 8, 2009

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