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How can I get my son who's 4 to listen to me because time out is not working with him and I guess I'm one of those stressed out parents who'll just throw in the towel when my demands ain't being met.I'm trying to do everything I can to calm myself down so I won't snap and do something I'll deeply regret so please somebody tell me what to do?

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Asked by wandaluv at 5:14 PM on Apr. 13, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (4)
  • Take a deep breath and remember that all kids are different. My son was the same way, time outs were just a waste of time. (He's 4 too.) Sometimes you have to improvise to get him to comply. The one thing that works like a charm, and I thought my friend was nuts when she suggested it. I tell him to do something, if he doesn't do it, I don't battle with him. He just goes to his room and he can't come out until he's ready to do what he's told. If he continues to come out I just put him back in there with NO other words, and simply say "you can't come out until you listen to mommy." Same thing applies if he is throwing a fit. I tell him to go to his room and he can't come out until he has a smile on his face. Sounds REALLY stupid. But it's amazing, within 5 minutes there are no tears and he's grinning. They don't want to sit in their rooms by themselves. Cleaning up his messes, take him by the had and walk with him to each (cont)

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 5:18 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • and every thing and have him pick it up. It will take some time, but he will get the hang of it. What I have learned, most importantly, is to NOT GIVE UP or GIVE IN. They count on that, especially if you have many times before. I was the parent who eventually threw my hands up and said screw it and did it myself. BIG MISTAKE. Give it time, practice and I promise, before you know it he'll be listening and complying way more! Good Luck!

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 5:20 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • i'd say he's old enough to understand consequences. ie if he draws on the wall the crayons go away. dont give in, he'll see that you give up and just let the misbehavior continue, and he can possibly learn to manipulate.

    Answer by m4m4 at 8:43 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I go outside and scream my face off... then continue to say that the consequences are ... whatever you think is appropriate... and if the crap continues I do it. My favoriate/ most effective by far is getting a garbage bag (blacks great cuz you cant see thru it) and putting his toys in it and making him help. They are in time out until you can behave. I leave his room with the toys and sit them in the living room. That has only happened twice. Super effective. He figured it out really quick that screaming and hitting dont fly. Good Luck!

    Answer by BraidensMommy01 at 2:33 AM on Apr. 14, 2009

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