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My husband forgot our anniversary. Now what??

Yesterday was our fourth wedding anniversary. I bought him two presents that I knew he would like about two weeks before our anniversary. I gave him the presents yesterday and he said, "That's nice.....what are these for?" When I told him it was our anniversary he just nonchanlantly replied, "Oh is that today?" and that was it. I kinda expected he was acting that way because he had a surprise in store. He didn't say or do anything the rest of the day about our anniversary. Last night when I confronted him about it he just said, "What is the point of celebrating? It is just another day of the year. What is so significant? All it literally means is that the earth has revolved around the sun another time." And that is it!!! He fell asleep after that. What should I do now??? I understand his point and that it doesn't hold much meaning to him, but it DOES have sentinmental meaning for me. Shouldn't that mean anything to him?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:05 PM on Apr. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • Wait til his birthday comes, and then tell him it's just another day, why celebrate.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 6:09 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • You are speaking in Venetian to a Martian. The book Women are from Venus Men are from Mars would help you understand a lot about your husband. All husbands speak Martian to some degree..some are more fluent than others..

    I don't think he is being hurtful on purpose. He is probably wondering what in the world you are in such a twist about. You guys just need to learn how to communicate so the other understands.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 6:10 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • evelynwest I appreciate your advice, but I don't think he would care at all. He doesn't ever want a celebration for his birthday. He just gets depressed that he is one year older (he is only 26). Plus his birthday isn't for almost whole year. His family never did special things for birthdays. So growing up he never had a party and rarely even got a gift. Its still the same, his family hardly acknowledges when his birthday comes around.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:13 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • He should have recognized that it meant something to you and at the very least appologized for forgetting it. You can't make it mean something to him if it doesn't, and if he feels that way I wouldn't put much hope in him changing into Mr. Romantic in the future. I think I would let him know I was hurt and also ask if anything is wrong. Maybe he's under stress or depressed about something (men have mood swings too sometimes). Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • OP again.... just so you know the ONLY thing I asked for him to do for our anniversary was to hold me and tell me he loves me. I am not big on receiving gifts, plus we are short on money. I reminded him our ann. was coming up a week before and told him the only thing I wanted was for him to be slightly loving that day.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • i would hold out sex for awhile then maybe next time he knows that if he forgets you conveniently forget to give him sex. if you have sex a few times a wk then go 2 wks without it. if you only have sex one a month then go to 6 months of no sex if you can go that all with out it. maybe i would take the presents back and get the cash and buy something for myself.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 6:19 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Your additional info makes me think this is a passive-aggressive thing, so maybe he is bent out of shape about something and this is his way of making you pay for it. It sounds like you have been very understanding and up front with him, but something seems to be bothering him. Could he be mad about something or possibly depressed?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:20 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I think this is a case of how he grew up. I had similar issues with my hubby. He is the youngest of ten, and didn't come from a very loving or sentimental family so he doesn't understand these things. I tried and tried to explain to him how I feel and he never got it...until I gave him this scenerio. I said "Okay, you are a man and when we have sex, that is how you feel loved and accepted by me, right? Well, what if I decided that since I feel loved by hearing words, YOU get no more sex and I'll write you love poems instead because that is what I might like? That is how I feel when you downplay things that are important to me. I feel how you would if I didn't want you sexually". He's made more of an effort since then. I would sit him down, don't act mad, and explain WHY you are hurt and what he can do about it...in words a MAN can understand.
    ErinHill226

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 6:21 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I wouldn't worry that much! Seriously, if it's not written down on my calendar I don't remember. It took me 2 years to get my other halfs birthday right!!! It doesn't mean that I don't care ....I just suck at remembering dates! I forgot a doctors appointment today and it WAS on the calendar and I knew about it yesterday LOL!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:23 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • anon :23 Thanks for your answer, but I don't think you actually read my post through. It isn't so much about the fact he forgot, I know he has a bad memory that is why I always give a week or two notice and it IS on his calendar. It is the fact that even though he KNEW what the signifigance of yesterday was he choose to ignore me and not do the one (very) simple thing I asked of him.

    ErinHill, that is execellent advice!! Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:31 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

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