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Crazy In-laws

Yesterday at Easter dinner at my mother-in-laws one of my husbands uncles raved about how beautiful and sweet my dd was. He is always like this. You would think I would just agree with him and let it go but I cannot. She is the most beautiful and sweet baby. But he raves about her for an hour and a half. That is all he would talk about. That's all he talks about when he runs into someone at the grocery store, restaurant, etc... She 8 months old. He's an alcoholic and not a very nice person in general. He has other great nieces but he only talks about my dd like this. He is not generally interested in children. Does anyone else think this is kind of creepy? My husband and I are now in an argument about the situation. Also, yesterday the uncle was drunk and still my husband kept letting him hold her. Is it not my husbands responsibility to tell him no? If it were my family it would be mine.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:54 PM on Apr. 13, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Your mother sensors are telling you something is wrong. Trust your instincts. What is the worse that could happen if you are wrong? Some bad blood. What is the worst that could happen if you are right?

    It is your responsibility to protect your daughter. Don't single out the uncle if you can help it. Make the rule, there is no holding the baby if you have consumed alcohol. Or anytime he holds the baby- "uh-oh dirty diaper" "uh-oh hungry baby" "let me just take her to see aunt so-and-so" "so sorry, she has to have a nap" "lets get a picture of her and cousin so-and-so."

    And yes, this DOES, sound creepy to me. It may be perfectly innocent but better safe than sorry.
    Bellarose0212

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 3:16 AM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • I would be very wary of him.I'd say anyone could speak up about who holds her.
    TMJ121099

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 7:58 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • that is a bit creepy. i wouldnt let anyone hold my children while drunk. you can tell them no too because they are your family now. thats what happens when people get married they combine families, even if they are a little distant. and this is your child too. i would be very wary of this uncle. now and future.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:24 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I would be a bit creep out too. Sorry you are fighting with the hubby.
    missiedoo

    Answer by missiedoo at 8:37 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • see my husbands grandfather is like that, he has no interest in any of his grand babies except our daughter and he is right in love with her. Everything she does he just thinks is amazing, and he goes on and on about her to anyone who will listen. There is rumor going around the family that he may think shes his late wife reincarnated. I don't mind him fussing over her so much except when my SIL is around with her kids because I know it hurts her that hes not like that with her kids. Hes a harmless old man and the family patriarch so I don't mind. But if he were an alcoholic I would be a little leary of him. If your husband won't deal with the situation I think its your right as the child's mother to step in. I agree that your husband should speak up but if you won't you should

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:03 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • When my daughter was 4 days old my Aunt came to visit with her husband. They were both drunk and high. I told her she needed to sit and hold her with 2 hands and she wasn't allowed to walk with her at all. My Aunt is 54 years old. As for the raving about her if she is the youngest it tends to happen if your uncomfortable with it change the subject or say okay lets talk about someone or something else. Or take her and leave the room and say okay I have heard enough were going in here now.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 9:05 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • even thought they arent your family, she is your dd, so its your responsibility! Trust your instincts mommy, if you feel like he is a creep, he probably is! My SO's uncle is the same way except he isnt related. He was married briefly to SO's aunt and then divorced no kids. He gives me a bad vibe like a pervert. and I dont let him hold my son out of my sight. SAFETY FIRST!!! i care more about my son than his feelings!
    YoungandExcited

    Answer by YoungandExcited at 10:15 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • This is a sticky situation. yes, you are the mother and you are trying to protect your child, which is only right. But do you not have faith that if your husband thought your child were in danger that he would immediately remove her from the situation? If not, then you take action in any way you can. You limit interaction with the uncle as much as you can. If there is a family get together at night, don't nap her so she needs to "go to bed early." Never sleep her around him or leave her unsupervised when you know he is around. I know some people will call you paranoid, but if something happens to her you will only blame yourself. I would rather be proactive than reactive. It is you (and your husbands) job to protect her, first and foremost. If you dont see eye to eye on how to do that, then well, I'd fight. But thats just me.
    bpayson23

    Answer by bpayson23 at 2:14 AM on Apr. 14, 2009