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Need major advice Please HELP!!!!!

ok I am engaged to a 34yr old video game junkie, we haven't touched each other in weeks and there is absolutely no passion, I mean he won't even Kiss me. I love him but I don't know how to fix this any more everything I have tried only works for a little while. I need a man to stand beside me instead of another child to raise.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on Apr. 13, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Sounds like you have already answered your question. The ball is in your court, you are not married, and while I dont know if you have children together. It is alot easier to walk away know, than deal with a divorce later when you just get fed up with his addiction. Sounds like he needs some tough love, if you really love him and he loves you, you might want to just tell him that all of the video game systems and games are out of the house or your are out of the house. He doesnt sound like he will ever change if the temptation is in your home. I really hope you guys can fix this.

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 8:38 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • If you can't accept him the way he is, don't marry him. You're the one who will end up miserable in the long run.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:36 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • When men get so into their gaming that they pull away from the real world, its usually b/c they want to "escape" reality. Wether its due to stress, relationship troubles, or selfishness, it needs to be addressed quickly! When they start to pull out of reality in any way (such as gaming) it makes it easier for them to justify bad behavior in the real world. (since they can always just escape back into the game) It can be a big problem! Head it off fast!

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 8:37 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • My ex was the same way. he couldnt handle the stress of being a husband and a father and would use his games as a way to escape. It got to the point where he would get violent and very angry and verbally abusive just because id interupt the game to ask what he would like for dinner... nip it in the butt....
    If he keeps it up he will lose sight of what is important... if u need to chat send me a message.... but i hope that things get better for you.

    Answer by trystons_mommy at 8:45 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • my x was the same way ( not married ) but together 7 years. anyways he could spend 12 hours playing vidio games and we just stoped having sex ( i tried he didnt care ) and we stoped talken. the only time he talked to me was to tell me he beat a leval or he made it passed what ever. after a while i stpoed careing and trying. we were basicly roomates but slept in the same bed and no boom boom. unless it was my b day. needless to say i moved out and we did have a child together it has been 6 years now and i dont regret leaving im happy and married to a good man. as for x hes still a vide it. and still tells me about his games and how it only took 2 weeks to beat what ever. they really dont change and u will get bored u might have to make a choice sorry hun.

    Answer by tabbys4 at 8:48 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I say tell him to get rid of the stupid game or your out.

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 9:06 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • as a wife of a gamer, i can relate. it IS an escape for them. there are really only two options here. and it depends on their level of addiction. one is to join them. this is what i did, and its nice to see every now and then what he enjoys doing. the other is to leave them. they are so consumed in the game, it outweighs RL. in your case, i'd recommend leaving. once a gamer always a gamer. i did luck out and didnt get one of the "i have to beat this level NOW" he wont let the yard get all nasty or ignore our son. we limit our gaming to after DS is in bed.

    Answer by m4m4 at 9:29 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • If it's this way now.. it's a clear view of your future.
    I can't put it any more clear and honest than that. If you're okay with it (which you're clearly not) then all good... but he's got a problem. He's lucky that he's with you... if he was with me, that machine might have a untimely death.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:36 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Set a time for him to play the game because if he wants to act like a kid treat him like one. If the game is more important than sex than sounds like he has a real problem because most men would rather be humping their woman than pushing buttons on a game. I would not marry him until he grows up a little more or you are gonna have a miserable lonely life until you get him raised.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • not sure what we can say that you don't already know. It's not going to get any better without intervention for his addiction. Do you want a marriage like that? I know I wouldn't.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:48 PM on Apr. 13, 2009