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I found some stuff on my computer today. What to do? LONG -need imm. answers!

I was looking for an old document of mine on our PC. I was looking in Documents under my DH's files/folders/etc...to see if I could find it. Thinking I might have previously saved it in the wrong Doc. file. Anyway, I found a folder saying "Downloads" I opened it and found a bunch of porn trailers. All about 1 min. but enough to give you an idea. Looked like you had to pay to download more. (Personally, I don't mind porn, but these weren't my taste, more S&M). Anyway, in the same file was a save notepad doc. I opened it. It looked like a "draft" of an email to woman asking for info on her services. It said he would be in Raleigh on Mon. & Tues. (We are in PA). The message referenced the ad he saw online. He does business down there. Last time was 1/2-1/5. Then I found another saved doc. It looked like a Error message from an email. Dated 1/3/09. to this same woman! Email was returned. What do I do?!?!?!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:22 PM on Apr. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • i would print it all out that way when you do bring it up to him he can't say it didn't exist. and save the porn trailors to a disk for the same reason. then ask him to discuss it with you. aside from that i really don't know.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 10:25 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I woudl confort him about it maybe try adn contact the woman yourself just to be sure Gl mama And figure out what you are going to if he has been meeting this woman.
    kitkat41084

    Answer by kitkat41084 at 10:25 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Well if you ask him about it then he'll say you were snooping and that you have a trust issue. Just say you were cleaning out the recycle bin and came across the documents and see what he says. In the future just be on your p's and q's. I think porn is harmless but asking for someone's services is a different story.
    diamondmamma

    Answer by diamondmamma at 10:25 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Hmm... sounds like hubby is up to or has been up to no good... Confronting him will only help him to cover his tracks better later if you decide to stay after you hear what he has to say, soooo maybe you should keep an eye on him and prehaps get more proff sp.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 10:25 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • if it shows the email address then write her and let her know he's married. Some guys tell women online that they are single or widowed or whatever. Then when she replies talk to him and tell him to cut the crap.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:26 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • confront him. show him the proof. its up to you from there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Confront him about the email/letters. I agree with poster #1, you should print it out for proof. As for the porn trailers, I wouldnt worry too much about it. Its pretty normal for men to watch porn. But if it bothers you a lot, you should bring that up as well.
    serioussifL

    Answer by serioussifL at 10:32 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • Personally, I would snoop further, and keep snooping, because as a previous poster said, if you confront him, it will make him cover his tracks more thoroughly next time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • i would confront him, and print out the documents. porn isn't a big deal to me. thats really nothing in my opinion, maybe with the whole S&M thing he was just switching it up for once, mine does that from time to time. i would confront him with the documents in hand. that way he can't deny it. hopefully things work out for the best. good luck. =]
    mommykayti

    Answer by mommykayti at 10:36 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

  • I did print the two saved docs. Email error and the draft message. Can I just drop and drag the porn trailers onto a disk? I'm not really that upset with the porn. It's the other two things. For the past few years, our sex life has been dull. I have mentioned it to him. It gets ramped up for about a week + and then that's it. We just got back from a long weekend together. I initiated sex all weekend, and made sure there was plenty of it. I was even going to ask him what type of stuff turns him on, just because it's getting to be boring, but I wimped out. So seeing the porn isn't necessarily a bad thing, but like I said it's not my style. So, I was tempted to ask him tonight, and see what he says. See if it goes with the trailers.
    And, I don't care if he thinks I was snooping...I wasn't doing anything wrong. I did however think confronting him too soon could make him be more "careful".
    drdarcmom

    Answer by drdarcmom at 10:37 PM on Apr. 13, 2009

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