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My husband is changing his will and I have an odd situation I wondered if anyone had experience with?

My husband and I have been married 14 years. His son was about 2 when we married. Son only sees his biological mom once a week, for 24 hour period. Neither of them are interested in more time. My husband was recently in a car accident and he may not make it. He is putting a stipulation in his will that he wants me to have legal custody of the child. I know without a court order, I won't get that. But will the courts take that into consideration if it comes down to it? I know that she would take custody so as to not have to pay child support, but she wouldn't be happy about it, and he wouldn't really have a parent anymore. Anyone else know anyone that has gone through this. Our attorney says that given the circumstances, and mostly her circumstances (no job, past history of drug abuse and mental illness, lives with her boyfriend, fraud of the social services system) that I will be awarded custody, but I wanted real experience.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:07 AM on Apr. 14, 2009 in Politics & Current Events

This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • I don't have a lot of advice for you, but I do hope your husband does recover.

    When I made my will up a couple of years ago, I wanted to know how I could make sure my parents got custody of my kids. My ex has been convicted of a violent felony, and among other issues, I didn't want him having them b/c of it. I was told that there are no guarentees that what you put in the will for custody will happen, BUT that by putting your wishes in there, the courts have to take it into serious consideration, b/c it makes it your last wishes. They told me that by putting it in my will, that the courts would have to look at my parents history, home, ability to provide, etc. compared to my ex, and that given the situation, more than likely my parents would get custody. They told me that the process would be the same regardless of who I named in my will, so long as they were deemed more fit than my ex husband. I hope that helps some.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:57 AM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • I meant I would most likely be awarded custody. Sorry about that!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 AM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • i am not sure from experience in any form. however his son is 16, therefore he should be allowed to have an influence on that decision. what does he want?

    Answer by vabchmommy at 2:09 AM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • OP here

    We haven't actually told him his dad may not make it. However, we did discuss the idea of a stipulation in the will with him and he said that he would rather live with me and his sister then with his mom.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 AM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • If he may not make it and is in that bad of shape then how does he have the capacity to think clearly enough to change his will?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 AM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • OP here

    I don't really know why that is pertinent. I may lose my husband and thanks to biology, my son. His injuries now are survivable, but the healing process may have stronger repercussions that could potentially lead to a systematic shut down of his vital processes. That is how the doctor described it anyway.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 AM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • It's pertinent b/c they may argue that he wasn't of sound mind.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 AM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • OP

    Both the doctor and the attorney we have deemed him competent. That was the first question the attorney asked the doctor when he got there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 AM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • If his son is 16 the court's will listen to what he wants

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 AM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • AT 16, he gets to choose, at least in most states.

    Answer by clovismommy25 at 2:36 AM on Apr. 14, 2009