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Have we created a monster?

My daughter Hannah is 3 and the only child and only grandchild on both sides of the family. She is the only baby and we all seem to cater to her hand and foot. I mean all of us ( me, my SO, my parents, my grandparents, her other grandparents) all of us... We make the biggest deals out of everything she does (birthdays, gymnastics, etc) When she cries everyone is up scrambling to try to make her feel better. One lady commented that we treat Hannah like she is the queen of England and it first it upset me because I think every mother dotes on their child, then I thought about all that we do and she may actually be right. We all will stop anything we are doing if hannah wants something. Its actually quite ptiful but she is probably the epitome of spoiled. I don't even want to go in to too much detail bc I know everyone is gonna think I'm crazy... ? Is it too late to teach her that the world does not revolve around her?

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BriHan06

Asked by BriHan06 at 12:44 PM on Apr. 14, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 19 (7,166 Credits)
Answers (44)
  • No it's not too late..but it won't be easy to reverse the last 3 years.
    momjoy1027

    Answer by momjoy1027 at 12:48 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • No its not to late! I would get to work though if I were you! I know this little girl who was the only child to a family and she was very pretty and everybody told her that all through her life and she turned out to be a conceded ( sp) little witch! so yeah, get started quick!
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 12:49 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • No, it is not too late to teach her that. You will have some rough times in the process, b/c she is used to this now. But you can change the way you all react to her and how she handles things. Your biggest problem may be the grandparents, who tend to want to spoil grandkids regardless.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 12:49 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • My daughter is the only girl/granddaughter for my mom, along with her two male cousins, and brother. She has a princess syndrome, and working on breaking that, she can have some major fits if told no. Be consistent on changing, so she learns that she will not be catered to, not saying don't do things for her, From own self, don't be at her beck n call.
    IRA871

    Answer by IRA871 at 12:51 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • Thats us... we tell her she is so beautiful all the time, and she is, but now when she gets dressed everyday she says "Am I beautiful mama?" Like she has to hear it now... And I never seem to get anything done because its Hannah hannah hannah all of the time... She wants yuo to play with her, wants this and wants that, and I have to be giving her my undivided attention every second... She calls my name constantly... Like I know that is normal but she does it 10 times worse than any child I have ever seen... I am burnt out and need this to stop and I know its all my fault because I started all of this but now I know that she will not be a good person if we make her into a conceited little jerk...
    BriHan06

    Answer by BriHan06 at 12:54 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • No, it's not too late. If I were you, I sit down with your husband and draw up a list of household rules that she is to follow, what will happen if she breaks them, how to handle the "I wants", how to handle tantrums, how to handle drama from tiny bumps and thumps... anything and everything you can think of. Then sit down with the grandparents and let them know the rules have changed. Let them know that it's OK for them to bend the rules a little but not to break them AND only if she is alone with them (not if you are there too - that sets up a power play between the adults - bad idea!). Remember, grandparents think it's their right to spoil a child and a little is fine, but not if it undermines your authority - so only a little and only if you and hubby are not there to say no.

    -cont-
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 12:54 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • Then sit down with her and explain that she is a big girl now and explain the new rules. It will be AWFUL for a while as she tests if you mean it or not. But everyone follows rules everyday - you do, her grandparents do, she must too. Stick to your guns and she'll be fine.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 12:55 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • It's not too late but make sure to take baby steps and be consistent. Don't try to change everything at once, it will really confuse her and make things worse. Pick something small and change it. For example, if you let her eat a cookie everyday before dinner, stop giving it to her but don't try to change five different things at once. It's a long process but it can be done. Being consistent is your biggest thing. You have to follow through every time and don't give in.
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 12:55 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • Do it now, it will only be harder if you wait. There are good things about notgeting what you want all the time, like learning patience, and empathy for other people, all good virtues for a kid to have, it will be hard but not impossible to teach tthese things starting at 3, but if it means something to you you wil do it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • IRA187- OMG We call her Little Miss Princess Hannah Elizabeth and she defiitely tells EVERYONE that she is a princess.... I have started to call her Minnie (Short for Skinny Minnie which I call her a lot as well) but everyone else still calls her princess and stuff like that...
    BriHan06

    Answer by BriHan06 at 12:55 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

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