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What does it mean?

My husband always goes overboard with what he calls "polite." It could be a perfect stranger or a relative. He opens doors, offers them drinks. He seems to love the compliments and attention he gets. However I know most of the time he does not act that way. Why does he love female attention so much? What does it mean when a man strives for attention?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:27 PM on Apr. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • What is the big deal? Most women would be proud of a respectful, helpful and caring man. Obviously the question here is "Why are you so threatened and jealous of all the attention he is getting?"

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:31 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • I think its a selfesteem booster. My hus can be same way. I just try (with all my strengh) to let it roll off my sleves. If anything I make sure to tell him how much I love him, dah,dah,dah.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • I appreciate a person with good manners. Someone who cares about the comfort of others. It may not be so much striving for attention as what he considers proper behavior. I learned a lot about proper behavior from an older coworker when I was in college. And more from the gentleman who taught my sons piano.

    Answer by Bmat at 1:34 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • My ex was this way. And when we went home he was a total ASS. Its for attention, he wants people to THINK he is SO polite (or at least that is how my ex was) He loves it because it makes him feel good about himself. My fiance now is very polite out AND at home. He brought back the word chivalry. My ex did it for attention, my fiance does it because it's second nature to him. Totally different motives.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:35 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • I don't think it is just men.. we all like to feel validated. Maybe he really wants to be known as a kind and polite man. If he doesn't act that way at home, you could mention that to him. Let him know you would like him to give you the same courtesy that he gives others. He may not realize he isn't doing it for you. People get comfortable and forget to treat their spouses with the same courtesy they give a stranger.. but this doesn't mean he wont, it may just mean he didn't realize. Don't think too much into it.. just talk to him if it bugs you. He is probably sincerely trying to be a nice guy.


    Answer by Tzutchka at 1:40 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • DH does this. Makes me wanna slap him. (not hard just enough to get that obnoxious grin off his face when people drool over his manners) Now he was raised to be polite and curtious to those around him but apparently not so much at home. He will go out of his way to help a complete stranger (female always) and I just stand there like ok thanks for running away I don't need your help with our son, bags, cups, putting his shoes back on, and carrying 25 items at once while trying to hold our 2 yr olds hand! You just go ahead and open the door for the empty handed woman.
    I told him I like that he helps (little fib to get the 'compliment' part out of the way) but maybe he could try helpin me more instead of complete stragners. He admitted he liked the attention and then the comments of "O your sooo sweet" *bat eyelashes* GAG!!! But whatever everyone who is close to us knows he's not like this 24/7 and they call him on it in public

    Answer by theheartbaby at 1:44 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • My husband is like that too, but he's like that at home and with strangers. He doesn't let me carry anything, he insists on pushing the cart or stroller and he won't even begin eating until me and our children have our food and are eating.. he is a true gentleman.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 2:04 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

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