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How do you REALLY know if he is the "ONE"?

How do you know if he is the "one". I love my SO completely. He has asked me to marry him, and I have said yes. But how do you really know? We do get into arguements, but we make up just like everyone else. Sometimes, when we do argue or get upset with each other, and I find myself wondering (during the arguement) , "is he really the one? , or I don't want to deal with this..." kind of stuff. But then we make up, and everything is wonderful again. They are not bad fights by any means, but I always just wonder if other people go through the same thing... I know a lot of you married couples out there fight, and everyone fights....so how do you know? How do you really know that THIS is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with??

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:59 PM on Apr. 14, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Don't be to hard on yourself. Doubt does NOTHING. To tell you the truth, nothing is ever 100% guaranteed. But we ARE able to maintain what we have. The question is, Is the love there, do we care for each other to make it work even when its not going so good? I know he was the one because he took care of me. AND we both brought something to the relationship that i thought would help us grow together. He was willing to give up old things and care for me. I was willing to listen and make him feel important, something he likes about me. I could go on and on, but when we fight, we watch what level we take the fight, and set a limit. And at the end of it, maybe not saying it out loud, but we both know we need each other, and weve come so far.. Try not to give arguments any power. Accept the argument for what it is and try your best to resolve it. Arguements cant define your relationship. Try to let them go. :)

    aMbeR012005

    Answer by aMbeR012005 at 2:11 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • I don't think you can ever really be sure.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • The test for me was: How would I feel seeing my SO with another woman and knowing he was with her (in bed, and also just being close). I also asked myself how I would feel if I never saw him again (like he died).

    That was how I knew I wanted to be with him as long and as much as I could. That was almost 25 married years ago. :-)

    Good luck...you're asking yourself the hard questions...good for you!
    timelessglass

    Answer by timelessglass at 2:03 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • marriage is work. once you get married, youre still going to get upset, everyone does. but you have to make divorce NOT and option. its a commitment to continually work on your marriage. do you know that he loves you jsut a little more than you love him? a couple songs come to mind wheni think about being sure. warren barfeild-love is not a fight, and steven curtis chapman i will be here. if you want to youtube it. would you rather spend the rest of you life with him, or could you do it without him?
    trelyn

    Answer by trelyn at 2:11 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • Pretty much exactly what timelessglass said.

    I pictured my life without him and didn't want to live that way.

    So I married him.

    Almost 5 years ago.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 2:11 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • It's great that you're thinking ahead! My best friends mom told me "you'll know!" well I thought she was nuts. But I did know. I knew because of the way he treated me and my son. I knew because I could hardly stand to be away from him, like after a date when he would leave to go home, I couldn't wait until I could see him again. And everything I did was more fun if he was with me. And I kept thinking how nice it would be if we had a baby together, and we just enjoyed each other's company. He was my best friend! We've been married for 13 years. Hope that helps!
    4kidsandadog

    Answer by 4kidsandadog at 2:13 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • Doubt comes to everyone. I knew my husband was the one when he put as much effort into his son as I do into mine. I pray for him before I pray for myself. I want him happy no matter what I have to do. We have both been through so much that it's better to let arguments go and focus on us.
    lilbit022009

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 2:35 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • What did it for me was for the first time EVER we had a first stupid fight over something stupid and we were so upset that he decided he was going to sleep on the couch. I knew I was so pissed of at him but as I laid there in bed I wished he would just come back to bed so I could snuggle with him. That was the first time I knew that no matter how mad he made me..I would still love him no matter what! So six months later I married him. We have been married for almost 4 yrs now and still going very strong!...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

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