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Dead Beat Fathers and your hate towards them!

Please tell me there are plenty of you that feel the same way. Does your childs father treat you like scum on the ground and not apreciate one thing you do for their child. Is the dad completely not in their life?
My kids dad does not even make a attempt to see the kids nor pay a dime of child support. But he can email me just to tell me that he hates me and that he hope I die. It hurts really bad to hear this because I struggle every day to raise these kids and to hear him talk to me like that but not ask about his kids makes me enraged! I am a good mother and his talk is nothing less than him being mad about getting child support papers but I still cant understand how a man can not want to see his own flesh and blood. Anyone else going through the no dad around at all?

Answer Question

Asked by bellamommyof4 at 3:34 PM on Apr. 14, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 16 (2,448 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • My ex-husband pays child support but has never met my son. My son will be 8 in June and the ex lives about 15-20 minutes away. I prefer to leave it that way. It lessens the confusion for my little one and keeps me from saying that if something bad happened to my ex-husband that he wouldn't be missed by NASA.

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 3:39 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • My oldest's biological father has never met her...not once, has paid a whopping $11 in child support in her whole life, hasn't even called me since she was 6 months old (she is almost 4) and that was just to tell me he wanted nothing to do with her and to ask me to stop sending him pictures of "that child". Ok...Well, when he did that , I had just gotten back together with my high school flame and he has been in her life since she was about 4 or 5 months old. He loves her like his own. She has known him as daddy. He would be PISSED if her biological father tried to drop into her life now and disrupt the family life we have.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:40 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • Yep. My ex and I have said exactly 2 words to each other in the last 4 years- both words "Hello" and both spoken in the hall at the courthouse when I took him in to be held in contempt for not paying. Hasn't seen the kids, doesn't ask how they are, no letters, cards, presents, nada. He doesn't even know how old they are. On his myspace page, he talks about his toddler (who is now 5), and his little big guy who's 4 (he's 8), and how he can't wait for them to start school someday (one's in Pre-K, the other 2nd grade). I figure he's a loser, the kids will figure it out one day, and someday he'll be old and alone, and I'll have my boys to give me grandkids (I hope) and come see me. Just remember, with a dad like that, the kids will figure it out one day. They'll see what you did and what he did and know who truly loves them.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 3:42 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • I just cant understand and I probally never will but,how can someone just not care about their own child? This is just sick and i hate to wish bad on someone but i cant help it...they are pure evil!!

    Answer by bellamommyof4 at 4:11 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • My ex has been gone for 6 years and the 7 before that he was around very rarely. The first thing he asked when I seen him was if I would stop child support and if he could claim my son on his taxes. I laughed and told him no to both. All he cares about is the money he has to pay. He has never paid more than $200 a month. He doesn't know anything about my son and my son doesn't really want to see his father to begin with. He questions all my parenting choices and tells me what my son can and cannot do, he tells me how I should raise my child. I told him that he has no right to tell me how to parent my child, he hasn't been around all my sons life and he can't come back after 13 years and think he can do whatever he wants. It's not just dead beat dads though, I know dead beat moms too.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 5:00 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • The way I look at it is they (the deadbeat dad) will be old one day and wish they knew their children and that will be the ultimate punishment... I can't hold on to the hate I had for my ex... Then I'm letting him affect my life and my happiness and that's not going to happen.
    It's out of my handsso we just have to keep moving forward..

    As for the emails to you, I would block his email, then he can't send you anymore.. If he gets a new email addy block it again... You have to break the cycle sometime.

    Answer by 4x4mum at 5:58 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • my kids are in their 30's and I'm just now getting child support! lol My x was not in the lives of the two girls but my son decided at 16 he wanted to live with the abusve jerk dad. My youngest (30) is trying to get to know him now and found out he's still a self centered jerk and wishes she never moved near him now! Live and learn. Did you file for child support? Let the state hunt him down like a dog and get the money. I did it that way and he thought when they turned 18 he was out of the woods. NOT TRUE! Now he has to pay back pay and 12% interest for the past 30 years!

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:05 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • I don't think I will ever understand how a man can walk away from his own flesh and blood. My DD's biological father has not been in the picture her entire life. He made a sad attempt when she was 10, but screwed that up. She's happy without him and wants nothing to do with him. He did it to himself. And he doesn't pay child support. I think he's in the hole for around 30K now.

    I hate him, but I'm done being mad. It wastes too much good energy. He'll get his someday. I don't talk to him at all, nor do I want to. He's a waste of space.

    Answer by sammygrl77 at 6:56 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • My sons' father last saw his children 32 years before he died. They were two and five years old. He was thousands of dollars in arrears with his court ordered child support. It was just a fluke that we learned of his passing. In reading his obituary we all learned that he had went on to have another family which included three more children. His obituary did not acknowledge his oldest sons. Please do not hate your own child's father. When we make bad decisions in this life there are always consequences. Know that whatever bad decisions he makes he will have to live with the result. That of course means that he will never be quite as happy as he would have been otherwise. He may someday have a change of heart or not but he will always be accountable before God. Take heed to your own spirit. Ask God to help you do that.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Apr. 27, 2009

  • I have two beautiful boys by two different fathers. I have a seven year old and a 4 month old. My seven year olds father doesn't do a darn thing at all. The four months olds dad live about 2 blocks from me. And I have to aske him for everything. He acts like he cant do anything at all the he has the nerve to question what I do with my kids when he doesn't contribute a d@mn dime. I am really starting to hate this man with all my soul. It is so amazing that a year and a half ago we are in love not. If he looks at me wrong I want to beat him to death. The seven year olds father has not talked to him or seen my son in 2 years. I am tired of men they really make me SICK. How can you not want to take care of your own. Mammas baby pappas maybe. Anyone can make a baby it takes a real man to earn the title to be called a FATHER. HAPPY BELATED FATHER'S DAY TO ALL YOU MOM's that's doing it all alone.

    Answer by lonelyeyes at 10:17 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

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