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Legal advice regarding unmarried father trying to get joint custody

Ok ladies I have a question. My son is almost 4 years old and the man I had my child with doesn't pay child support nor does he rarely see my son. He will call once every couple months and ask to see him in which I never deny him BUT then he would tell me he was coming and then never show or say that he was going to give me money to help out with my son and never did. Well I got fed up with it and told him until he helped pay child support that he couldn't see him now I got served with papers stating he wants joint custody and I really don't want this.He is also denying that he owes back child support. Has anyone else delt with this and if so did you win. I live in Arkansas and I know laws are different in different states but I was just curious.

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Asked by ReginaPhalangeE at 3:56 PM on Apr. 14, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (8)
  • i am from Illinois and my son's father agreed to whatever i wanted but that's not the case here. they take 20% of his check every week and i get 52 in child support weekly. they cannot go back and collect child support from when the child was born. they can only go back to the date of when the papers were filed. as i said i am in illinois and things are different in every state..sorry...

    Answer by busymamma503 at 3:59 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • Do you have a court order for child support? If you do, he HAS to pay. If you never filed, he does not have to pay. He can get joint custody as well.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 4:02 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • No he said when Dylan was born that he would just pay me money so we wouldn't have to go through court stuff.. BUT I guess he changed his mind. He has never paid me money continuosly. In fact I would say the whole time he's been born he has givin me maybe 300 dollars. The back child support is not what I'm concerned with so much it's the joint custody. He just hasn't been there at all and I think my son would be really confused about this.

    Answer by ReginaPhalangeE at 4:06 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • You are in the wrong. Regardless if he pays child support on time or at all, he his still legally allowed time with his son. He can not pay you for the next five years but you have to honor the court order visition or custody agreement. You need to file for child support. Most states have achild support diviison what can assist you. Many states are trying to stick with joint custody, its better for the child. You will more then likly br granted primary custodian, but for all legal purpose it will still be joint custody just he will remain to live with you full time. Your ex will get set days and time for visitation and holidays and such. The courts will award him regular time with his son. And if you deny it they will hold you in contempt. When his child support falls more then $10,000 behind many states are now sending them to prison. but honestly what good does that do? pm if u need more help.

    Answer by Vanessannd at 4:15 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • By denying him the right to see his child, it will look bad for you in court. It does NOT matter if he is paying support or not. Custody and child support are 2 different cases. You legally cannot deny visitation becasue he is not paying support. Your first mistake was not having the child support done through the courts. You will probably not get back support, only from the day you file. NEVER EVER have child support that doesn't go through courts. It protects you and him. It protects the child too. He very well may get Joint Custody. Usually, one parent is given primary placement and the other parent gets visitation (ex: every other weekend). In Joint Custody, BOTH parents have decision making rights. Get an attorney.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 4:55 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • Try to find out if its "joint legal custody" or "joint custody" there's a difference... At least in MO..
    Maybe take a look at this... GL

    Answer by 4x4mum at 5:53 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • You should have filed for child support when the child was born. Go file for it now and maybe they will make him pay back support. You can't stop him from seeing the child though unless a court says you can. Unfortunately, he has rights. You almost have to wonder why they file for joint custody. He still has to pay child support even with joint custody.

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:07 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • If there are no court orders for child support or custody, he doesn't owe you a thing and you both can take the child whenever you want, technically you have joint custody now. If he files for joint custody and gets it and you still retain primary custody, you can request court orders for child support at the same time.

    I don't mean to be rude but WHAT were you thinking not going through the courts?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

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