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My boyfriend and I have been together for eight years and we have two wonderful kids, yet he refuses to get married. How do I get him to finally, legally settle down?

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on Apr. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (24)
  • Talk to him about getting married. What is his reasoning behind not doing it? Did his parents have a bad relationship and divorce? Has he been married before? Does he think marriage is nothing more than a piece of paper and ring and to him its not important because he loves you? He may have a good reason to not want to do it. You can always ask him to marry you.:)

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 4:21 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • OH lord you have stayed in that for longer then I would have.
    After the 2nd baby I would have been like marry me or Im gone.
    Im so sorry he wont commit in the way you want him to. What
    is his excuse?
    Maybe you should just sit him and down explain to him that you
    are really ready to take the next step and be a complete family.
    Good Luck girl!

    Answer by bmattacch at 4:21 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • What are his reasons for not wanting to get married? It sounds like you are already committed to each other - eight years, two kids. I think you guys need to sit down and have a real heart-to-heart about what you both want. The legally binding part scares some people. Find out what his concerns really are and trying to work things out.

    Answer by DDry at 4:21 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • wait a year, I think you're considered married at that point anyway, lol

    Answer by Adeline1210 at 4:22 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • You don't.. You can't make any Adult do anything they don't want to! And why would you want to force someone to marry you when they don't want to?! 8 years is "plenty long".. Honestly everything I have ever read about Men is they almost know instantly ( whether they bring it up or not) if they would marry their partner or not. Time for you two to have a HUGE talk ( if your not getting what you need). He wants the option to stay single but has the luxury of a family. Not fair to you or your children. If he is afraid of marriage because he has seen marriages fail/etc. that isn't an excuse that can be used for a lengthy amount of time either.. counseling can help. He was "In it " enough to procreate with you but doesn't want to make it legally binding... that would bother me.. as well

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • You don't and can't make him do anything he does not want to do..You have already given him everything he wants...A live in girlfriend of 8 years..And you gave him kids before marriage. You should have thought of this marriage stuff a long time ago..Before the kids came along.


    Answer by louise2 at 4:24 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • He says that if we get married and then realizes we weren't meant to be togethter than it would be a pain in the ass.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:25 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • In response to "Bmatt" above.. not only would I have left if after the second kid he wouldn't marry me.. I WOULDN'T have a second Child with someone that wouldn't marry me!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:25 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • On the flip side, why is it so important for you to be married to him?

    Answer by gramsmom at 4:25 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • What? if you get married he realizes you weren't meant to be together? But having Children is okay.. when he doesn't know if your the one or not? Ridiculous. He wants his options open. not fair to you or your children!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:26 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

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