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~Single moms only...that can actually relate~no bashers please

I have been so depressed lately and yelling at the kids and its not even their fault. Every noise shoots through my brain. I am so sick of the whining, the yelling, the back talk from my teen son. I have four kids. two boys 14 & 11....and twin girls that are 6. Their dad is not in their life at all and I feel so over whelmed that I just want to scream. I go to school full time right now and then come home and have to deal with drama, yelling, the fighting, etc. Then cook dinner and everything else mommys do on a day to day basis. I feel like my house in never clean even though every one else says it is. Basically i am on the verge of a mental break down. I am on antidepressents and I just feel like these can not control the anger I feel of being a single mom. I am sick of crying and having pitty parties for myself. These kids are my world and I love them soooo much but I cant shake this feeling. Is anyone else feeling this?

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bellamommyof4

Asked by bellamommyof4 at 4:24 PM on Apr. 14, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 16 (2,448 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I feel your pain, I really do.

    I have rules in place to save our sanity. Everyone in their rooms after dinner, the rest of the evening is for me to chill out, have a beer, play my xbox or ps2 or just watch my toenails grow. The littlest one (age3) goes to bed to sleep, the older ones usually read until 9 or so. Up at 7, walk the dog and get ready.

    On weekends, no one out of their room until 11am. They read quietly until then. Tell the older boys that you need their help looking after the twins, put that way, they may be all over it. Show them how to make simple meals.

    Good luck!
    MizKizzy

    Answer by MizKizzy at 4:43 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • Your boys are old enough to prepare simple meals, all of the kids should be helping you to clean. The older boys can keep an eye on the girls so you can have some alone time. Talk to the doc about trying different meds, the ones you are on may not be working. Also, they are all old enough to watch a movie so you can sleep in on weekends. You need to talk to all the kids about how they need to help out, that you cannot do everything yourself. If it takes family counseling, then do so. It is ok for you to be upset, angry or overwhelmed...I am a single mom to 1 teen and have really bad days, I can't imagine having 4 to deal with. Good luck and whatever you do, do NOT quit school. You need that to provide a better life for yourself and your children.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 4:49 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • I have five kids...three are grown now. Have been a single mom most of their lives. I made the kids to age appropriate chores. Even the six year old can make sandwiches for lunch. The older boys are old enough to watch the twins...start out by staying in your room...then as you can see that they can handle it...you can go out of the house. Cell phones make it easier to leave the house...they can get in touch with you at any time. I gave the older kids a reward (stay up later, play more games...etc....) if they can keep the younger kids happy and out of my hair for a set time.

    It is normal to feel this way...I am sure that parents who have a partner can feel this way as well. But it is really better for the kids if you make them more responsible...when they move out they will know how to take care of themselves if you teach them now how to cook and clean. :) I have been thanked for being a mean mom by my older kids! :D
    PsychicSherry

    Answer by PsychicSherry at 5:15 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • I'm not a single mother, but I was raised my a single mother my whole life. I would watch my mother slowly go insane. She worked 60-80hrs a week and it was just me and my brother. What we would do is we knew that we couldn't get away with anything, so we had chores and responsibilites by time we were 7 and 8. Your kids are old enough to help out. My mom would sit us down at dinner and say look you kids need to pull your weight around here. Honestly, your kids are seeing what you are going through. For a long time I thought my mom's unhappiness was my fault and it hurt me. Don't beat yourself up, if you need a break take a break. Do you have any family member that would be willing to take them in during summer break? My mom would send us off to my grandparents for the summer so she could get a break. If not then maybe they have some summer programs they can go to.God bless all you single mothers out there.I love my mom
    dawn_misayo

    Answer by dawn_misayo at 5:31 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • Been there, done that but I only had 3 kids. I used to yell "I QUIT" and would go to my room after a hard day at work. The harder I tried to clean the worse they made it look. I decided to give each a responsbility according to their age. Each was automatically responsible for their own room. If they wanted to live like a pig it had to be in their room. I stressed that we were family and a team and together we could get through what we needed to get through. It wasn't always easy but we did it. I enlisted their help in the kitchen for meals and while in there we discussed their day. After dinner we discussed tv and what we wanted to watch together since back then we only had one tv.
    Learn to rest up during breaks if your's are different than the kid's school breaks. You can do this. Just pace yourself.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:02 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU, YOU HAD SOME GREAT SUGGESTIONS. THANKS =)
    bellamommyof4

    Answer by bellamommyof4 at 2:19 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I think MizzKizzy said it best.
    I feel ya sister and I'm pulling for you! There's days when I just wanna scream!
    I mean my son is a really good kid in general, I just wish he wouldn't invite so many kids over who keep calling me,"Mom", lol
    My son is about to go to dickhead's, I mean the sperm donors err His dad's now I feel bad for yelling at him last week for not doing his chores...harumph

    Motherhood, Where else can you experience heaven and hell at the same time!
    Starfire73

    Answer by Starfire73 at 8:17 AM on Jun. 12, 2009

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