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How can I forget and forgive him for cheating me? We have 3 babies together, he's the only one that I loved the most, he's the only one I want to talk to. How can I just hang it all up and leave or how can I just forgive him and forget what he did and stay....?

cheating, forgive and forget

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:46 PM on Apr. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • You'll never forget. Ever.


    If you can forgive, you're either very strong or very dumb, depending on who you talk to.  What if he continues to cheat?

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:48 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • I hope you can find a way, I don't think that I could forgive my guy for it, exspecally if we have kids, but I'm really closed minded about it.
    NicholeAT

    Answer by NicholeAT at 5:48 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • Forgiveness does not mean forgetting what happened. Forgiveness is giving up the right to hurt someone for hurting you. And it doesn't mean that the person is off the hook either. They are still accountable for what they have done. I personally could never get over something like that. I would be miserable every day of my life because of worrying constantly about what he was doing, who he was talking to, etc., etc. That's just me though. My mom had to deal with this with my dad when we were growing up and she was a very angry person for a long, long time and it really took her away from us emotionally because she was so consumed with it. We also have a dysfunctional family because of it. We kids (there were 4 of us) kind of raised ourselves and we all have some issues, but for the most part, we all turned out okay. But they have been married 50 years now and I'm so glad they're together. (cont'd)
    madsmom11597

    Answer by madsmom11597 at 6:02 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • I have been through this hun. You will NEVER forget. Forgiving is hard, but can be acomplished. It just has to be something you both are willing to work on. He will hae to work to gain your trust. It may take several years for you to finally trust him again, but if he is willing to work, I say let him. I would also suggest counseling, both couples and individual.
    -Ashley
    spiritguide_23

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 6:04 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • My dad loves my mom and it shows, but I couldn't have done what she did. There were a lot of wasted years, but coming from a child's perspective, I'm glad they're together today.
    madsmom11597

    Answer by madsmom11597 at 6:05 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • has he stopped cheating? Is he planning on doing it again? If not then forgive and don't forget. Just use it as a lesson learned to build a stronger foundation upon. Read the book Why Men Cheat and maybe that will help. There are other good books on getting past infidelity.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:11 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • If you can forgive and forget, good for you. I would not be able to. I would hope my husband would never break my trust like that, if he ever did I'm sure I'd have to leave him. That's just something I would not be able to get over. That's just me though.
    Rachel24517

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 6:38 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • I hope you find the solution, I couldn't.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:49 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • YOU CAN FOGIVE HIM BUT YOU WANT FORGET IT OVER TIME BUT HONEY YOUR NOT DUMB YOU HAVE A FAMILY WITH THIS MAN AND PROB CAN'T SEE YOURSELF WITHOUT HIM. AND AS MUCH AS YOU DO LOVE HIM YOU HAVE TO BUILD UP YOUR TRUST WITH HIM AGAIN ON A ONE ON ONE BASES BECAUSE LETS FACE IT YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO TRUST HIM THE SAME UNTIL YOU BOTH HAVE FOUND IT IN YOURSELF TO MAKE THIS WORK FOR YOUR CHILDREN NOT SO MUCH AS YOU TWO BUT THEY MATTER IN THIS SITUATION AS WELL
    MizNque

    Answer by MizNque at 7:54 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • If he is a cheater, then your relationship is a lie, which is profoundly painful. It is as though you have a death to grieve for, the death of your relationship, your hopes and dreams. They are gone now. If you can tolerate continuing a relationship with him, get tested for STDs from time to time, don't have other children with him, and go on. If you can't tolerate living like this, then even though the wound is still there and will always be there, move on with your life without him. You are a capable woman. It may be scary to think of being on your own, but you are already on your own, aren't you, since he isn't trustworthy. So you know you can move on. Either way, with him, and taking precautions and ignoring worries that he is cheating still, or without him and trusting yourself.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:02 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

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