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we got the call... Now what?

so Sun I had posted a question about my FIL and his drinking. He had been sober quite a few years and started drinking again. he also had the gastric bypass a few months ago. right now we are at the hospital waiting to see him again. He's not in good shape. DH is really upset & I've tried being quiet like him he snapped at me, I talked just in general stuff he snapped sayin I don't care I asked about his dad he snapped he didn't wanna talk. so now I'm outside smokin and askin you ladies WHAT CAN I DO? I understand his snapping but what can I do? any advice will be greatly appriciated


Asked by theheartbaby at 9:24 PM on Apr. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Be there in the background and don't say anything. You are an angel right now, you are there lending your presence, support, and prayers, but completely not drawing attention to yourself. It is a thankless task, but it is a precious one. When your husband snaps out of his shock and alarm and looks around, he'll find you there.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:29 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • Just say a prayer for them both.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:25 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • Don't say much, he'll talk when he's ready. Good luck.

    Answer by mamaada at 9:30 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • nothing just stay outta his way he just feels like hes gotta snap at some one and unfortuneatley since your there its you

    Answer by emtmommyamanda at 9:32 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • Stand by your man but at the same time give him his space.
    And yes do alot of praying for both of them. GL
    The only reason he is snapping at you is because he does not want to lose his dad and don't know how to act with his love ones. Just be there for him and I hope everything works out. Take Care!

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:32 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • thank you. I'm still waiting but they called DH back. His dad wanted him. Praying has been a constant thing since we got the call. I just feel like I'm in the way, but now ill stay here until DH comes out with an update. I don't mind his snapping at me I understand why he is doing it. DH put me in charge of callin his sisters w updates he said 'i don't want to & I know you need to feel like your doing something so just keep calling' DH is such q good man its breaking my heart he has to go thru this.

    Answer by theheartbaby at 9:42 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • You really need to read that book Men are From Mars and Women from Venus. It tells us to keep quiet and allow them to think things through. He knows you are there for him. Now let him work through what he needs to work through. This has to be difficult for dh. He'll tell you when he needs you. He's in his "man cave" right now

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:55 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • Don't try to talk to him unless he initiates the conversation. Just sit beside him and hold his hand if he will let you. All he really needs is your presence there with him.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:04 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • Just be there. He's stressed and emotional right now and probably doesnt know what he wants. Just your presence and support will mean so much more than you know.

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 10:53 PM on Apr. 14, 2009