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Do I try and help my "Mother"?

My Mother and I hve been on very little speaking terms for months now. Ever since she stabbed me in the back! (Long story) I dont know if I can ever forgive her!
Anyway, she is in a very unhealthy relationship with a man that emothional abuses her. Has used up all her savings for his, so called, business. Neither of them want to go get a "real" job. Her children are suffering, my sisters and daughter. Everyone is worried, and everyone wants me to speak with her to try to help her out of this relationship. She hurt me, but shes my Mother, and I dont kno what, if anything, I can and/or should do.
Any advice would be great at this point! Im really confused over the whole situation, and its giving me more stress then I already have!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:52 PM on Apr. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • I don't think any of us are trained professions in therapy. Please find a therapist to talk about this issue. Maybe they can bring in the whole family. GL


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 9:55 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • Why don't you all go as a group and speak with her? That way, no one of you becomes the "bad guy." And she might come closer to listening to the group opinion than to an individual who claims to be speaking for the group.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:56 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • My dd and I go through this crap (months without speaking) but if something important comes up we communicate then go back to not speaking if we want to. Write her an email if you don't want to talk. Tell her you and the family are concerned and if she wants out of the relationship all of you are willing to support her decision. It has to be her decision though.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:58 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • Well, these are all good ideas but here's another: Despite the back stabbing, I would give her one last try. In doing this, I would set the ground rules, be firm with her about this and that it's your last effort at helping her and she can either take it or leave it but that you do love her despite your differences. If she's unwilling there comes a point where you have to understand that some people just can't be reached, even family. She may have to hit bottom and help herself. You cannot be responsible for her forever, especially if your life is being affected. Good luck.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:39 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • I would help if not for her than for your sisters and daughter.

    Answer by alinker at 11:46 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

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