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Ok so i was fooling around with a guy that i barely was just suppose to be sex and thats it but i wound up pregnant right away.we never was in a relationship but because I was carrying his child i developed feelings for him. when i was 8months pregnant I found out he had a girlfriend the whole time I was devastated so of course she kicked him out now he lives in another state and i'm here raising my baby alone.he denies her and constantly blames me for him having to move.I can't get him off my mind and I really try to jus focus on my babygirl but when I look at her I can't help but feel bad bc her father isn't in her life and I blame myself..I think im depressed but im afraid to admit it. I wish all the time that things were different and that maybe we could be together but he always tell me he dont WANT ME and he disrespects me. so how can I still have feelings for this guy and why cant I get him out of my head?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:02 PM on Apr. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • My sister had a very similar situation. She got a paternity test and proved he was the father, he still doesn't do anything with or for her. My poor sister just kept looking for love, and got in an abusive relationship in the mean time. Now she is happily married, and her and her husbend are expecting. He wants to adopt he other child as well. I think you will figure things out, sometimes it just takes time and learning. Just Love your child, tho they don't desere to be faterless, its probably better having no dad than a dead beat one. Good Luck to you and I wish you the best.

    Answer by LucasMama08 at 11:06 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • You need to mourn the loss of that man for you and your daughter and then MOVE ON. It's okay to be sad but not okay to live your life hung up on him as he's not worth it. You should focus on your child and finding ways to make yourself happy without him or any man. Don't beat yourself up about it. If he's disrespectful and doesn't come around to be a Dad then screw him. He would be a crappy father anyway so no father is better than a really poor one. One day, you'll meet a nice guy who can be good to you and your little girl. There's a brighter future for you if you will just let it happen and get over your baby's father.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:08 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • Honey love can be addictive just like a drug. Im sorry for your situation but you gotta let go girl. Apparently this man doesn't feel the same way. Give that baby enough love for you and her ok. You are probably young and you may meet someone and this time keep your damn legs close and open your mind. Its going to take sometime but you have no other choice but to move on. Its better said than done but honey you are going to have to keep a sane mind because you have a baby to take care of now. Don't be worrying yourself over no man. Be strong because you know us mothers are Superwomen.

    Answer by diamondmamma at 11:10 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

  • Keep yourself very busy especially with your babygirl in your life this is a new life for you.
    Both of you (and the guy) new it wasn't going to be serious between you two, so why in the world did you allow yourselves toget pregnant? Now that the damage is done (I am sure she is a beautiful damage) You need to let him go he obviously doesn't want nothing to do with youboth move on find you someone that will love you and your babygirl and talk to God he will show you things you wouldn't thought of. Try doing things with your baby get that guy out of your head you just have to tell yourself and when looking at your baby don't look for him in her look for you and think of how you are going to raise this precious creature God gave to you. GL

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 11:11 PM on Apr. 14, 2009

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