Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why can't men be SAHD's and the moms be the provider?

Why is it when a man doesn't work he is called a bum and no good but when a mom don't work she is just called a SAHM? Would women be willing to go to work and let their husbands raise the kids?
Would you be ok with doing this so your hubby can stay at home with the kids?

Answer Question

Asked by ronjwake at 2:25 AM on Apr. 15, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 7 (175 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • B/c women think that men should be the providers or bring in more bacon....we want to "be treated equal" but don't want to let go of the old school ideas

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • umm, this thinking is really old school lol. both of you, and anon was just funny. there are plenty of SAHD's. :)

    I would totally be ok with DH staying home. He wouldn't do it though, and I love it, so this works for us. I would much rather one parent be home, then both work, regardless of the parent.

    Answer by celticreverie at 2:28 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I would be willing to do it. Hubby is in the Army though. But when I was working I was making as much as he was, so I could support us all if the roles were reversed.


    Answer by Aviators_Wife at 2:30 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Yeah there are some SAHD's. I think it depends on the couple though. My husband wouldn't function right as a MAN if he weren't working. He was out of work once and it totally took away his pride and masculinity so we never want that again for him. He finds much of his purpose in providing for us. I find mine in caring for home without going to work. We are old school and we love it. I think everyone should do whats best for their families no matter who works/doesn't work.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 2:31 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I did this for 4 years. I was the bread winner and my husband was a SAHD. I LOVED it!
    You're right, they're called a bum for not working and "he makes his poor wife work while he sits on the couch all day". That wasn't our case. My husband cooked, cleaned, vacuumed, did laundry and everything else a "mom" would do. Of course we got the eye stares when he was asked what he did for a living. But oh well- it worked for us and at the time, I had better the job and made more money than he. So we chose for him to stay home because we didn't want to put the kids in daycare.

    Answer by BrendaMomOf3 at 2:32 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I honestly have never met anyone that is a SAHD.

    Answer by ronjwake at 2:32 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Our family used to be this way for about 1 1/2 years DF lost his job and I was making enough to support the three of us but he wanted to get a job to start saving for a house and to get married and all that stuff. However, I might become the one staying at home now because we are making the same amount and only need the one income and with the cost of daycare.... it is getting to the point that it is not worth it! We will see... but it worked fine for us!

    Answer by cutiepieusa879 at 2:33 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I have met a few here in Korea. Only because it's hard to find a job here if you're not Korean. Even on the Military bases (they hire 97% Koreans).

    Answer by Aviators_Wife at 2:34 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • It would be interesting to know how many SAHD's there are compared to SAHM's.
    I would think there are many more SAHM's, as it is more accepted by society.

    Answer by ronjwake at 2:43 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Yeah, it would be interesting to know. Being stationed here is the first time I've met any SAHD's. I never once thought they were bums, or too lazy to find a job. Hubby always jokes that once he retires he's going to be a SAHD, but he would go crazy being at home all the time. Once we get back to the states I'll start working again....hopefully I can find a job.


    Answer by Aviators_Wife at 2:49 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.