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Venting...My mil makes comments about me when my DH takes care of the kids!

I go to school, full time, and when I have a midterm or test, I have to cram, so I have my husband take the kids out of the house for the day. He goes to the park, or to the mall, anywhere so I don't hear children. When he goes to his parents house, the first thing his mom asks is where am I and what am I doing? He tells her that I have to study and she says that I'm being ridiculous. It's like she hates that her son has to take care of the kids. It's his kids too, why shouldn't he be taking care of them and it's not like I'm asking her to take them or inconveniencing her in any way. I guess it just bothers her that I am not a superwoman (like her *rolling eyes). I wonder if it bothers her that the kids have to be with him while I go to class?!?! Does anyone have a mil like this???? Or is it just me?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:18 AM on Apr. 15, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • my MIL is a supermom *rolls eyes with you*...I am so young a dumb and building a business to better myself, income and my son's future seems so wrong to her I should be %100 housewife kiss hubby's feet go and fetch..NOT haha...Roll it off just like you are mama..you are busting too much butt to take her crap. You are doing what you are doing to help yourself and YOUR family and that means those kids and your hubby and in some ways her. If it gets too bad tell her look I work hard and I am damn proud of it so please just back off about the kids and hubby. GL
    Bugsmommy1908

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 6:28 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • You need to ask him to not share her comments with you anymore. You know how she feels. That's enough. Everytime he tells you, it makes you more angry. He needs to just not repeat her nasty comments anymore. And he needs to tell her to shut up. That he's doing this in support of the woman he loves.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 6:31 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Did your MIL earn a college degree? If not, then she's jealous that you are! She may have wanted to have the opportunity but children and a husband may have gotten in the way of her "dreams" and it bothers her that it hasn't gotten in the way of yours....slowed them down a bit, but didn't kill them!

    Either way, I would have a nice sit-down chat with her over coffee--no husband, no kids, and flat out ask/tell her what is going on--your plans, your need to have the children out of the house every now and then, how your degree is going to make a better life for you and your family, and how she SHOULD be supporting you and your endeavors and not undermining them.

    I would then MAKE SURE your husband is DEFENDING you to his mother, and not getting sucked in to her little biatch fest!!! If he is, remind him that you are doing this for HIM as well! And just think how INDEPENDENT you will be with a college degree! ::wink::
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 6:53 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Ugh that is annoying. I would tell your husband that his mother is out of line and that he shouldn't tell you when she says nonsense like this anymore. He should absolutely be willing to take the kids out of the house when you need quiet. That is what partnership is all about. When my husband needs quiet to complete a project for work (he's a teacher) I take our son out of the house for a few hours. When I need to run errands or I need quiet time, he takes our son for a while.

    You shouldn't have to hear that garbage. I wouldn't repeat it to my husband if my mother said some BS like this about him. In fact I'd tell her that she doesn't know what she's talking about and to leave it alone. That's what your hubby should do too!
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 6:59 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I used to have a similar problem. I worked second shift and every time one of my kids were sick my mother, not my mother in law, would try to guilt trip me into staying home. I made the comment that h'es their dad, not a baby sitter several times! Is it possible that she's thinks your cheating on him? Some people who have had that happen to them, will see anything like that as a "sign". LOL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:05 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Could it be possible that she thinks you are just trying to get out of being a mother? They were raised in a different time and they were taught that to be a housewife is the only way to be a good wife. I am not condoning her words in any way, just trying to get you to look at it from her point of view.
    Also, have your hubby tell her he doesn't mind watching the kids. Sounds like they all have fun. He needs to start standing up for his wife.
    -Ashley
    spiritguide_23

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 8:22 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I say confront her. My grandma hated my mom. Well one day my dad, brother and myself were down at her house eating lunch (mom was at work) she started in on how horrible my mom was. Well I had enough noone else there had the balls to say something I slammed the table and said I didn't care what she had to say about my mom or if she liked her but I would not let her bad mouth my mom in my presence ever again. And I left. Well she never did after that day. I say confront her and then let the husband know that he should man up and defend you.
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 9:09 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Maybe she is jealous that you are pursuing something she never could.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 10:00 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • She probably thinks you aren't putting your family first. That you are being selfish chasing them out so you don't have to hear them (your words). As a mother who chooses to go to school, you should be able to handle both the little time you spend at home.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

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