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Difficult decision about sexual abuse...

After my 3 yr old girl came back frm a visit with her dad, my mother and i noticed she had a sort of rash on her, titi, is wat we call it. i asked her if it hurt she said no, she also said a bad kitty scratch her there, i called her dad asked him about a cat he said no cats are at his house. i put cream on it next day it went away. later in the week she told me "i dont like the giraffe mommy" i said what giraffe? she said the giraffe at my tatas house i dont like it, it poke my booley. i called him again and asked about it again he says no such thing here. last nite i was playing dolls with her and decided to aske her where is tatas giraffe, she said on his tummy, showed me on the doll down there. i said what does the giraffe do and she put the two dolls together. i didnt want to freak out, i dont want to make a big fuss, but i have to tell someone. she is only 3 and i dont kno how to deal with this, i need advice pls.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:27 AM on Apr. 15, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (9)
  • Seek a professional child therapist. That is the first thing you need to do and contact cps so they can have someone evaluate the situation. They will do a home interview at both your homes and take all the information and start a case. They will even offer you a counselor as well.

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 9:30 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Don't ask her any more questions. You aren't qualified. Seek a professional, through CPS. They know how to ask questions without leading. It is possible she saw something then self-injured by accident. Young children are not always accurate reporters.

    Answer by kara_g. at 9:42 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Take her to her dr and have him/her examine her to see if there is any signs of abuse. Tell them what she told you and showed you and see what they say. I'd then contact cps, and file paperwork with the courts to try to prevent him from seeing her, at least while it is all being investigated.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:43 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I agree with not talking to her any further about it. It needs to be reported and handled by professionals.

    Answer by MoonLover06 at 9:54 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Don't ask her any more questions or discuss it with her. Call the police. I really don't see where or how this is a difficult decision. She knows more than she should know and that's not right!

    There's no freaking decision to make. You HAVE to do what is right for your daughter!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:00 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • you definately need to take her to the doctor's . they would know what to look for . possible a child therapist as well. Well i wish you the best of luck this is a difficult situation.

    Answer by etetreault at 10:00 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Stop asking her questions. Take her to the doctor to evaluate her physically. Here in town, we have a child abuse advocate that everyone went through when there was an accusation made at a daycare. If that isn't an option in your town, contact CPS or try to find a therapist your physician recommends. Stop sending her to the other house until you get things sorted through. It could be something as simple as she saw something she shouldn't have on TV or walked in on her dad and his girlfriend. Children imitate what they see, and get confused easily. But, don't ignore this. Don't panic until you have reason to, but take is seriously.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 10:17 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • OMG! How scary for you. I am going to repeat advice already given. DON'T ask more questions, you are not professionally trained for it and you absolutely need to know what really happened, not what she thinks you want to hear. The first thing you need to do is take her to her doctor, explain what was said, out of hearing of your daughter, and have the doctor do a physical exam. Then contact CPS and ask them for help. They have professionals trained in questioning victims of these kinds of crimes and those people will be able to tell you based on her answers and how she acts, whether she was abuse. I am so sorry you are going through this, it must be terrifying. But if you catch it now and get help, she will get through this and still be a whole woman when she grows up. I applaud you for wanting to do something about it. Too many moms would bury their head in the sand because they can't handle it.

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 11:25 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • BTW, it may not have been her dad, he may have had a friend over or something like that. I also agree with the pp that it may be something she saw, not something that happened to her, but if you continue to ask her questions, you may confuse her and then she won't be able to tell you.

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 11:27 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

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