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My SS's BM wants him for the whole summer!!!! :(

My SS's BM wants him for the whole summer! I think that is out of the question, she wants to take him to the Yukon with her mother. We live in Alberta as does she, apperently she has the summer off and wants to take him up there in June....which is stupid because he isnt done school till the middle of June, but she wouldnt no that because she never calls or really sees her son. She has been anywhere from 1-3 hrs. away from our home for the past 9 months and has seen him three times and only because we took him to her! She wants to take him 30+ hrs. away for the whole summer. I am so upset right now I dont see how she could ask for him for that long. Is there a law or some rule that says how long and how far away she can take him? (There is no legal custody agreement right now) I am a full time step mother and I dont no what i ll do if she takes him :(


Asked by Ashleycash at 11:24 AM on Apr. 15, 2009 in General Parenting

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This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • Until there is something legally drawn up, there is not a lot you can do. Your DH can always say no, but it is the custodial parent's responsibility to facilitate the relationship between the child and the non-custodial parent. It would not be looked upon favorably for your DH to say no. In most cases though, it is unusual for a parent to be given an entire summer of visition. It is typically 6-8 weeks, giving time for the child to get out of school and have a week or 2 to get back into the swing of things with the custodial parent before school starts. It sounds like you really love this little guy and are honestly looking out for his best interest. Your DH should discuss this with an attorney & see what they can get drawn up. Possession is 9/10 of the law & that includes if she decides not to bring him back you are out of luck. I know this from my own personal experience! Be careful and talk to someone!

    Answer by Momof3cuties at 12:52 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • She is his mother she can take him wherever she wants as long as she is not leaving the state. She can leave the state if your aware of it and you can really do nothing until you get a proper order. Does his father care? It is her son and you can not stop her from taking him. Try and get something as to when she will bring him back and when she can have him.

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 11:27 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • If there is no legal custody agreement, then no there is no law about how far away she can take him.

    It would be in the best interest of your SS to get a legal custody agreement. You can get a temporary one prior to him leaving (if he does) to insure that she HAS to bring him back to your husband, and then continue on with the rest of the court proceedings afterward.

    How old is your SS? If he is of the right age it may be appropriate to allow him to be involved in the decision.

    Ultimately, this is something that your husband has the decision over, since it is their child. But if she has not been involved in his life, it seems odd that she would suddenly want him for 2 months.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 11:28 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • she is HIS MOTHER . sorry but she can see her child and it honestly isnt your bussiness. it is betweeen her and the childs father not you . im sorry but that is how it is

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • He is five years old. His dad cares alot were both very worried about this whole thing.
    she had him all last summer because she came to the camp ground and took him from his grandpartent and didnt ever let the father no! he was in bc in a no cell phone area. So when he figured out what happened they had an agreament that he would have his mother bring him back by plane that the father would pay for...and ten hours before they were suppose to get on the plane she called and said sorry she wasnt bringing him back! The father had to beg her for two hours for her to bring him back and even then she demanded a paper saying he wouldnt go for full custody.... we cant trust her! AND AS FOR HER BEING HER MOTHER THATS BULL IF SHE GAVE TWO SHITS SHE WOULD SEE HIM OR AT THE VERY LEAST CALL HIM! WE HAVE NEVER SAID NO AND I HAVE EVEN TALKED TO HER ABOUT HOW SHE SHOULD CALL MORE!!!!

    Answer by Ashleycash at 11:50 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • im sorry you feel that way but legally she is mother if yall dont want her around him then go to court and get full coustody until then there is nothing you can do . she is mother. period.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • also im sorry but i looked at your page yall arent even married yet . right? then YOU really have no say so over it at all .

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Any whore can have a kid but just because she gave birth to him means nothing she dosent put any effort into trying to be with or have any contact with her son!
    I am with him 24/7 I am his mom and were a family and she is just someone who we see when she feels......Just so everyone doesnt thing i m some nut case, she didnt take care of him! she would sleep till the afternoon while her 4 yr old would be playing outside, he never ate breakfast till i was in the picture he hardly ate, he never had a bedtime, played video games all day and ate dinner which was usually hamburger helper usually after 9 at if thats a mom well then wow thats hard work!

    Answer by Ashleycash at 11:55 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • By law we are common law already, and what really does that matter
    who takes care of him, who is raising him! ya that would be me!

    Answer by Ashleycash at 11:57 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • i know you feel horrible about this but legally by law even a cop will tell you if there is no legal paper work then she is mother period and when it comes to child coustody you DONT have a sya so im sorry . if you want that to change then you should have your so go to court and take that baby from her period . only way you will have a legal say so . just becaus eyou live together does nto give you say so inthat childs life . that is just how it is .i am sorry this is how things are going but that is it . get a lawyer go to court. nothing else you can do

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:59 AM on Apr. 15, 2009