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How do you introduce yourself for the first time to your boyfriends ex's teenage boy?

My boyfriend, Chris, and I have been dating for 4 1/2 years. Chris has alway been cautious with Michael. Michael is Chris's ex-girlfriends' kid. Chris and his ex started dating when Michael was 3 or 4 months old. Chris raised Michael until he was 12. Chris's ex and him broke up and they were never married. However, when they broke up it was Chris's decicion to leave. Chris has always felt guilt for leaving Michael and had a hard time showing his feelings. Recently, within the last year or so Chris has told Michael about me. Although, Michael and I have not met yet. Now that Michael is graduating High School and going on to college and Chris and I are talking marriage; Chris wanted to have Michael and I met. But when Chris told Michael about it Michael said, "Awkward!" I think he will feel like if he is friends with me he will be betraying his mom. I'm looking for some advice from someone who has gone through something similiar

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kelseyrue

Asked by kelseyrue at 11:30 AM on Apr. 15, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • It has to happen at some point. Introduce yourself and get to know him. If your open with him he will open up to you. Let him take his time. He is old enough to get over it and move on. He is not a 5 year old so he may think its awkward due to Chris leaving and now they are reunited and he is all of a sudden wanting you guys to meet.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 11:32 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • You don't,,,you let your SO introduce you.


    JMO,,Personaly,,Sence the boy is not HIS child. I wouldn't ever try to get to know him. JMO

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 11:39 AM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • It is awkward, but you know what he raised him-so technically it is his dad-maybe not by blood but by guidence, so you have to give him that. Just be open to any suggestions from your man. Treat him kind like you would anyone else, he is part of your man and you should not hold that against the boy, and he will feel a little odd, but the x should be over him.
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 12:10 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I dated a guy for a few years and my son became very attached to him, in fact he goes to my ex every other weekend, my ex is the father my son never had. I would just have SO introduce the two of you in a neutral setting. He is a part of your SO's life and seeing he pretty much raised this child, he is important to your SO and meeting may just put him at ease. Treat him as you would if he was your SO's bio son.

    to louisetwo: her SO raised the child for most of his life, the child may not be his bio son but for all intents and purposes he is the father. The child is a part of SO's life and therefore she should get to know him. Not all relationships are perfect or traditional, so it is a good thing to meet the child. Don't be so harsh. There are no guarnentees in life, so should we not get to know anyone, because they may go away? We shouldn't meet important people in a loved ones life?
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:46 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • well it's basically like having a step child. any person who's parents have split or has married or been in a relationship with a man who already had kids should have some advice on this
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

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