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should i allow his friends to stay until deployment?

ok..my husband leaves in 2 weeks to go to iraq. some of the ppl he works with have to move out of their apartment a week b4 deployment, so thats means they would have to stay in a hotel until it's time to leave. my husband is a friendly guy and invited 2 of his pals one guy and one girl to stay in our extra rooms upstairs w/o even asking me if it was ok 1st. i'm normally not selfish and love to help ppl out but i really dont feel like sharing the last week with my husband with him and his friends in my house. i won't see him for at least 18 months if he comes home alive at all and he wants our last days 2gether to be wit ppl in our home....am i wrong for this???

 
shaimommy

Asked by shaimommy at 3:35 PM on Apr. 15, 2009 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • No, I don't feel as though you are wrong. FIrst, he should have consulted with you about it, as he will be gone and not having to put up with them. Second, you shouldn't have to share your last days together. And third, once they move in with you, it becomes a large burden on you...even if they are the best of houseguests. You should be thinking of your own family and how to deal with the deployment. Also, I was in the (alomst) same situation and these friends ended up not giving us any money (like they promised), ate my sons' food even after labeling it, the woman cheated on her hubby in MY house while supposedly babysitting for us, and then they left there stuff with us "for a while" to try and find a new place when we kicked them out. Which, BTW caused a fight between them and us and they left their stuff for 4 months! And when we got rid of it, they tried to sue us! It was a VERY HUGE MISTAKE.. CONT
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 3:40 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • they could have stayed in the barracks. and no you are not selfish.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:38 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • No you are not selfish! That is such a tough call..can you guys afford to go somewhere for the last few days of it for a mini vacation and let them stay in your home?
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 3:39 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • CONT

    And this are people hubby had known for over 10 years! I know you can't always expect people to do bad things, but why borrow trouble?

    I say make him retract the offer (since it was his idea) and enjoy your time alone as a family.
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 3:41 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • i asked him if they could stay in the barracks but he said they can't for sum reason idk...and i wish we could take a mini vacation but its so close to him leaving so they got him so busy tryna get ready there's really no time to take one.
    shaimommy

    Answer by shaimommy at 3:43 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • If you make him retract his offer, you'll look bad and he'll be resentful. Be generous and let them stay with all good heart. They'll be in a potentially dangerous situation soon enough, welcome them into the comfort and friendship of your home. Find time to be with your husband, of course. But don't send him off while he feels embarrassed and hurt having to retract his invitation- that would be a loss all around. Don't do it. Be generous.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:47 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • He must have had a reason for telling them it was ok. I bet your last week with him will not be pleasant if you embarrass him like that and make him retract. He'll look like a jackass to his friends and they will call him Pu*sy whooped. Personally, I don't think it's worth the trouble it will cause if you make him retract it but I'd tell him to discuss it with me in the future.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:47 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

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