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How can I get my 15yr. old daughter to do her chores without ask a million times?

How can I get her do be more helpful around here? We don't ask much of her she is a great student and a very busy athlete but getting her do do whats ask is so hard. I hate to seem like I am nagging but that is what it comes to. We have tried all sorts of things i.e. media freeze meaning to electronic stuff for a period of time. We have lectured,scolded,begged and nothing seems to work. Any ideas?

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Asked by ceesa74 at 3:48 PM on Apr. 15, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (16)
  • has the electronic freeze worked?? How do you utilize it? I found that If i take away all access to all eletronices (cell phones, tv/cable, computer) this gets the point across. I usually take away some connector cord or cable and put it in my car and/or take it to work. Then things got done.

    I also don't cook the dinner meal/make snacks available when things don't get done around the house. I provide breakfast and they can get lunch in school...but if there is no response from my kids regarding chores, then I don't do dinner for them. I will either eat out and/or get take out for me.

    Another way is to take away clothing an outfit a day and store it. Then when they are left with three things to wear...they get the drift. This is usually effective for a young female.

    Of course, you can remove allowances, extra cash/money available to them. Just limit their access. They'll turn around.

    Answer by bigfinemamma at 3:55 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Here's the only thing that worked for me (and keep in mind I raised boys not girls) But I sat them down like young adults and asked them if they were tired of being hounded about doing chores.. they both (in unison) said yes.... I asked them if they thought it was their responsibility to help the family and themselves keep things organized, again I got a yes...,.. so then I told them that I was tired of being the hound-er and asked each of them to come up with a list of 4 chores they would be willing to do. They both did.... I assigned each one of them 3 of the chores from their list (starting from the top down - knowing they listed last what they liked doing the least) and it worked out from there..... There were still time when I had to remind them, but I kept the list they had made for when they needed reminding. Wasn't too horribly bad all in all.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 4:06 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I agree with PaceMyself...setting the rules for your child to understand is better than nagging them to do it...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:24 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Did you tell her from a young age about chores because if you didn't and you tell her now she'll look at you like you have just grown another head. My grandma or mom never really enforced chores and now my grandma expects me to clean the whole house out of nowhere instead of doing what I did when I was younger which was watch tv and read. And if she has done it before and you complained about how she did it wrong then she won't. Cause that's annoying too.

    Answer by swbohsix at 5:06 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Chores = Monetary incentives
    No chores = no money
    Sit down and make a list and what the expectation is. Be BABYFIED clear about what you expect in exchange for what she wants. Maybe she doesn't want to do dishes, but would prefer to sweep and mop the kitchen? Talk about it. Give her a voice. She will have more buy in. She might even do more work than you expect from her now. (They usually do. I am always amazed at what kids come up with for themselves.)
    I teach middle school. A lot of times it is easy to miscommunicate with the changlings that they call a 15 year old.
    Lastly, Give up on the bedroom, if that is an issue. Just make a no food rule unless it stays clean. (You don't want bugs or mice in there)


    Answer by poynorwife9819 at 6:16 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • I am sorry. Close the door on the bedroom. Don't bother yourself. Life is too short to be upset about something you don't have to look at.

    Answer by poynorwife9819 at 6:17 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Well...probably the same way I get mine to do hers....never. She will do what I ask if its right in front of her but if she ever says "in a minute" or "okay I will", then its a sure fire thing that it won't get done. She claims that she forgets. Well, thats fine, but its stopped being an excuse. Usually we bargain. As soon as she asks ME for something, i say no, not until youve done this that I asked. Same with tween. She is worse about her chores and her room is a nightmare. I have stopped trying. I close the door when I don't want to look at it. When it comes time to find her cell phone or her ds, I say, well, clean up your room and you might find it. I don't help her look and I don't buy more junk that she cant keep up with. Thats the penalty. It works sometimes, but overall, I think she will outgrow the room thing. I feel your pain on the teen thing though.

    Answer by momofsaee at 7:51 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • Are her sports something you drive her to? If so tell her that you will not leave until the chore is done and you are not going to rush to get there if she waits until the last minute and ends up leaving late. I had to do that with my son, I wanted him to simply take the recyclables to the bin because we put them by the sink and the bin is downstairs, I told him hours before we had to leave for practice one night that I was not leaving until it was done of course I reminded him a couple times and he thought I was bluffing, well when it was time to go and they were still not in the bin I told him I was not taking him because he didn't do what I wanted I was not doing what he wanted. He was a couple of minutes late because I always stop for a coffee on the way and did that even though we left late that day. He thought that he would turn it on me and I would just not get my coffee to get him there on time.

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 9:16 PM on Apr. 15, 2009

  • It's pretty easy at my house...she can't talk on her phone or invite anyone over UNTIL HER CHORES ARE DONE! Even then, I make sure she actually did it. You shouldn't have to ask more than once or twice. That is disrespectful if they are just not doing their chores!

    Answer by army_wife2000 at 1:57 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

  • PS...never beg! It is your house and a teenager is old enough to help out and should not have to be asked over and over.

    Answer by army_wife2000 at 1:59 AM on Apr. 16, 2009

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